[Discover how tapping into a minimalist mindset and creating a minimalist parenting lifestyle can help you to be a more calm mom.]
What do you think of when you hear the term minimalist mindset? Often when we think of minimalism we think of having fewer physical possessions as a way to simplify life. But what if you could also approach life with a minimalist mindset to help you to be a more present parent?
In this episode of the Soul Care Mom Podcast, I’m chatting with Marta Greca a homeschooling mom and business owner that has incorporated a minimalist mindset to mom life and business life. And she shares tips to help you create a minimalist mindset to help you let go of overwhelm, enjoy mom life, and be more present with your kids.
Hi there, Soulful Mama. Welcome to the Soul Care Mom Podcast. I’m Catherine Wilde of soulcaremom.com. I’m a mom of three amazing kids. A Soul Care Mom Coach and a yoga and meditation teacher. I’ve helped hundreds of women, and I’m here to help you feel calm and find your unshakable confidence as a mom. If you’re ready to stop living in survival mode and you’re ready to drop the mom guilt and overwhelm this podcast is for you.
Think of this as a lunch date with a girlfriend, grab a cup of tea and get cozy. It’s time to get honest and vulnerable and shift the traditional mindset around motherhood. Be sure to subscribe to be the first to know when new episodes are released.
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[Disclaimer: we are not health professionals. This chat is solely based on research and personal experience. If you have any concerns please seek out the help of your trusted health professionals.]
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What is Minimalist Parenting?
Hi Martha, thank you so much for joining me today.
Thanks for having me.
I am so excited to hear more about your story and I love your way of looking at parenting. Approaching parenting with a minimalist mindset.
When I hear the word minimalism, I usually think of having fewer physical possessions. But I love that you’re taking this approach to our mindset to our parenting as well. So could you share what exactly is minimalist parenting and sort of how it fits into your journey?
How to Cultivate a Minimalist Mindset
You think about minimalism. Like you said, a lot of people think about having less physical things in your physical space. And when you are a minimalist, you just take a more conscious inventory of what you allow in and you are persistent about what you take out.
Like you have a continuous really practice on, okay? This is no longer serving us. Okay. This has served its purpose. Right?
And so when it comes to minimalism as a parent, it’s about doing the same thing. But with society’s expectations of you and really taking consciousness of, okay, do you really need this for our family, or is that just something I’m doing because everybody expects that at XYZ age of your child or and X stage for your family, this is what you start to do.
Because that’s what society says you do. Whereas minimalism is more of being conscious of that doesn’t really make sense for me. Yeah, I’m not going to do that.
And no matter what you might think, oh, well, so and so might think I’m a bad parent, or they might think I neglect my children or that kind of thing. And it’s really being in tune with what’s right in your heart for your family.
Oh, I love that so much. Because we really do know what’s best for us. And just having these blanket rules or ideas of what it should look like for our journey can really derail us and take away the joy from what we’re meant to be doing and what’s best for our kids.
I love that so much. And so much of what you said it sounds like just setting those really nice boundaries for yourself, those really healthy, loving boundaries, and tuning in just to what your passion is, what your purpose is, and how your journey is supposed to unfold.
I love this all so much. So if there’s a mom that’s listening right now and it’s like, oh, this sounds really neat, but I wouldn’t know where to start. Where would you guide her to start?
I would say take inventory of your schedule and which are the things that you have on your schedule that are truly bringing value to your life and which are the things that you said yes to because you felt bad or because you’re missing out. Or because other people are telling you this is the thing that you do at this time in your life.
So definitely that. But also I feel that there has become this practice of, like, the more activities that your kids are in, the more of an enriching and nourishing life that they’re getting, right?
So you maybe sign them up for this and this and this and this. And then before you know it, you’re exhausted if you’re disconnected from your child. And then maybe there are some behavioral issues happening. So you’re like, well, maybe if I try putting them in this activity, or maybe if I try reading this book.
What I would suggest to you is instead, where can you find time to just truly connect with your kids? Without an activity, without something big and planned, without something that even requires an investment? Where can you find the pocket of time to reconnect with your kids and just be home with them?
And I know that actually allowed us to do that a lot. And some families were driven nuts. But take a look at why you felt you were driven nuts as well.
Yeah, there’s so much to look at. And I love that you said because we’re in this culture of doing more, having more not adding more to your plate doesn’t necessarily help.
Adding more things to your life, adding more activities, but pairing back and seeing where can we connect more, where can we have more downtime? Where can we rest in between really finding that balance?
I love that. And like you’re saying, there are so many things that we sign up for that we do. And as moms just in general, maybe we are business owners, too. Like all of the things that you have on your plate, it can be overwhelming.
And we’re both homeschool moms. So there’s that aspect, too. And you even have a baby on the way. So all of that can and up, leaving us really stressed out and not very present. And I know that my kids can feel it.
So when I’m in my head a lot and I’m just not there, I mean, I’m physically there with them, but just not mentally there with them. They can feel it. And then that’s when I hear their questions or the whining that starts to come up. Like you were saying with the behavioral stuff. And that tends to go away when I just am really with them and they feel seen and heard. So how does having this minimalist mindset, how has it help you to be a more present mom?
I think back when I wasn’t a minimalist, I was saying “yes” to the volunteering. And saying “yes” to all donate this wasn’t or “yes”, I’ll do this on a trade. Or “yes”, I’ll do this job, even though it’s really inconvenient time for my family because I’m afraid of missing out.
And then out and about having a smile on your face might be this happy-go-lucky person who says “yes” to all the things. “Yes” to volunteering for this. “Yes.” You’ll do this just that time you’ll meet with this client at this really inconvenient time because you’re afraid of missing out. Right?
And you’re afraid that if you say “no” that you might be missing out on opportunities that are meant for you. And then behind closed doors, you’re so exhausted that you’re snapping at your kids and you’re fighting with your husband about how exhausted you are and how much you need more support. Right?
So that’s what I was doing. And taking a step back and going, well, let me be more present and say yes to more things, to being more present with my family and really take inventory of what I say yes to outside of the home. That’s what really helped me to just be a much more calm and patient mom to the kids.
Being raw and real, we still have our moments, right? But I’m talking it was like every single night of angst and animosity and anger and yelling and sarcasm and exhaustion, too. It would be just the norm to something that might just pop up because it’s been asked ten times and you have a moment. But then you come together as a family and you have the time to really talk about it rather than just continue to have these small explosions because you don’t have the time to address the issue at hand.
Yes. Oh my gosh, yes to that.
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Being really intentional with your time. But you mentioned loving the fear of missing out. How do you approach that when you do feel like you might be missing out on opportunities and things for yourself, things for your kids?
I like to say that there is no such thing as missing out, that it just doesn’t compute, doesn’t exist. Because what’s meant for you will happen for you. And everything is unfolding as it should be.
So if missing out on something means that you get to be more present for something that’s more important to you. And this is a conversation I had with a client recently. She had this opportunity to be on this talk show and she’s been on it for a while and didn’t really feel like she was getting what was worth her time that she was putting into it.
And it was creating a lot of stress because it was right during the time when she’s typically preparing lunch for the kids and she’s typically then continuing homeschooling. And she felt like she was consistently rushing homeschooling to rush lunch to be present for this talk show. And didn’t want to leave it because there are big promises of where this talk show was going like it’s headed into big places.
I told her, “act according to what’s most important to you, live in the present moment and what is meant to happen for you will happen for you.”
“And saying no to something now doesn’t mean that you’re saying no to something forever. If it doesn’t just doesn’t work right now, then you’re not really missing out on it, are you?”
Sure enough, she put in her notice and just said “not for me right now.” And that’s not to say that in the future it’s not going to be something that she delves into, but just really being focused on what is important to you right now, you’re not missing out on anything else because you’re present in the present moment.
Benefits of the Minimalist Mindset
Yes, so true. And you have mentioned to me before that having this mindset. You’ve touched on us a little bit in the business world now. But having this mindset in your business has really helped bring success to you as a business owner. Can you share how creating this minimalist mindset can help in our businesses as well?
Sure. Often, we might say “yes” to working with a client because it might be really attractive financially. Or we might say “yes” to taking on a project because you feel like if you say “no,” then they’ll go to somebody else next time.
Or you might be creating a package or a product that’s based on what other people want, like making their life easier, what would sell the most? But when you switch that mindset to what do you want to do? Who do you love to serve? And focus your work all around that and just say no to everything else.
You might go, yeah, but I really need to be saying “yes” to this and this and this because my business revenue counts on it. But I’m here to tell you, I’m telling you, it works every time. The more you say “yes” to things that are not inner alignment with you, the more that they’re going to keep popping up and showing up and making your life a living hell.
So the more that you say “no,” the universe, God goes, “I’ve got it. She doesn’t want that heard loud and clear. I’ll keep tweaking and computing and recomputing and recalibrating.” That’s how I approach it in business.
The Connection Between Minimalist Parenting & Self Care
Yeah, that’s awesome. It’s true throughout our lives, right? The more we focus on what we want, the more it shows up, too, right? When we’re passionate, when we feel good, when we are doing things that we love, opportunities open up, we show up differently for our clients, for the people we’re serving. Right?
It’s this really beautiful ripple effect. And like you’re saying, it’s just your journey is unfolding the way it’s meant to you and you’re really present in it and it just changes everything. I love that.
So this is so helpful in all areas of our life. And I think something that ties in really well with just this creating space for yourself is the idea of self care. So when you do create that space for the things that help to nourish you. I found that that really has helped me to be the best version of myself as a mom, as a business owner, and as a partner. So I’d love to know what part has self care played in your journey and what are some of your favorite ways to practice self care?
Self care is huge, and it’s one of the topics that I actually get to speak on often when I’m brought on as a consultant for different local TV stations, which is really cool. I have so much fun talking about this topic For me, I have five kids, and I’m expecting my sixth. I run multiple brands. My husband’s an entrepreneur.
I helped my siblings take care of my parents who are, you know, ill at the moment. And so it’s super important for me for my self care to get up at least an hour to 2 hours before the rest of the family gets up to have that quiet time.
To just sit and stare at the sunrise with my big jug of water to make sure I get my 30 oz out of the four of these water bottles that I need to drink as a pregnant woman. I get one in peace and quiet as I watch the sunrise. And that’s self care prioritizing. The number one thing that I need to do is I need to stay hydrated and I need to ground my day. And as a mom of five, soon to be six, which I already consider, I’m taking care of him already. I’m growing his organs, right?
There are often changes in your world, right? So by being able to ground your day with the same activity when you wake up, it makes it so much more peaceful when things come up that you can’t control.
Because you spent that time grounding yourself in the morning and journaling. And maybe it’s devotional reading. Maybe it’s just having breakfast and making yourself something to eat and actually sitting there and eating it.
And for me, I love to look out into our backyard. We’ve got our little lake, we’ve got our geese, and it’s glittering with the sun and the reflection. It’s just beautiful. And if it’s snowing, it’s even more magical.
I start my day with self care because that’s how I can prepare myself for everything else that’s going to come at me for the rest of the day.
Yes. And I love how you said just sitting to eat your breakfast or drinking your water. Those little things are acts of self care that we can all prioritize because those things take almost no time. We’re doing them anyway, just being really present with what we’re doing. So I love that. Thank you for sharing all of this.
Yeah. So you have been on this incredible journey as a mom, as an entrepreneur. You’ve had so much growth along the way. And I would love to know if you could go back in time and share anything with yourself, like when you were starting your business or when you were first becoming a mom. What would you tell her?
I would say focus now on your zone of genius. Because there were so many things that I was trying to do well that I beat myself up about because I just wasn’t doing well. And I felt that I should be the most magical creator of these things that I just not my nature. It’s not my human design. It’s not in my zone of genius. So that would be the one thing I would just be, like, chill out on being, like, the best photographer in the world. It’s really not your jam. Although I did I became so good at it, and there were certain aspects of it that I loved.
And I was making a lot of money doing it, but it just wasn’t quite are didn’t know why I just didn’t feel like I was thriving. And it was because that’s not what was meant for me. I now have a team of photographers who are phenomenal at what they do, and I get to just have the client interaction that I did love about photography.
Oh, that’s awesome. And it’s such a good reminder, too. We are capable of so many things. We can do so many things, but we don’t have to do all of the things. Allow yourself to do those things that really light you up. And as moms, get that support. We don’t have to do it all.
I love that. And I’ve loved this conversation. Can you let us know where we can find you online?
Sure. I would highly encourage you to follow me on Instagram. That’s where we have the latest news. And my Instagram handle is my name @martasauretgreca_e360tv, which is the TV show for which I’m a talk show host.
Awesome. Thank you so much. I’ll include that in the show notes. Thank you for sharing your story, and your wisdom. I’m so happy to get to talk with you today.
Thanks for joining me, Mama. I’m over here smiling from ear to ear and giving you a big virtual hug. I love spending this time with you. You are amazing for showing up and carving out this space to nourish your soul.
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Sending you so much love, Mama.
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