[Ready to overcome yourself self limiting beliefs, Mama? Try out these powerful techniques so you can live joyfully and feel confident as a mom.]
What if you could overcome your fears, Mama?
Many of our fears stem from self-limiting beliefs and feelings of lack. When you are able to become aware of your self-limiting beliefs and step into your truth, you can not only conquer your fears but live from a place of joy and abundance.
If you are ready to break free of your self limiting beliefs and conquer your fears, you are going to love this episode of the soul care mom podcast.
Lucy Liu shares her story of overcoming her self limiting beliefs and I know you'll love her energy and beautiful perspective on life.
Let's get started.
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How to Shatter Your Self Limiting Beliefs
Hi, Beautiful Mama! Welcome to the soul care mom podcast.
I'm Catherine Wilde of soulcaremom.com I'm a mama of three amazing kids, a soul care mom coach and a yoga and meditation teacher.
I have helped hundreds of women and I'm here to help you feel calm and find your unshakable confidence, as a mom.
Think of this as a lunch date with a girlfriend. Grab a cup of tea and get cozy. It's time to get honest and vulnerable and shift the traditional mindset around motherhood.
Be sure to subscribe to be the first to know when new episodes are released. Get ready to grow and feel empowered as a mom. I'm here for you, Mama.
Let's dive in.
Hi Lucy. Thanks so much for being here and taking the time to chat with me today.
Thank you so much for having me, Catherine.
So your full name is Lucy Liu. And you shared with me that having the same name as a famous person has led to some interesting moments in your life as well as maybe helped you shatter some of your self limiting beliefs. Can you share more about that?
Yes, absolutely. Well, so obviously I have the same name as a celebrity. And growing up it was one of my biggest limiting beliefs because there's already someone out there by the name of Lucy Liu. So I felt like I was always in a rush.
Well, to begin with, I wanted to be famous. I wanted to be someone. I wanted to be successful. And at the time I always felt like, oh, there's another Lucy Liu.
So I was constantly chasing and I always felt like I was behind someone else. So that was the feeling of growing up. In that sense, I actually dropped out of high school with straight A's.
So I took what we call a state proficiency test, so that I can actually go to community college and I hustled my way through and I eventually transferred myself to a university, but I was still like, I wasn't as successful as I wanted to be.
I was always still in this phase of being, chasing and hustling and not getting to where I want to be. And I think throughout my years of personal development, I completely changed my life. Transformed my life from at one point on, you know, stressful, overwhelmed, and to now living a joyful and very happy life. Living to my purpose.
And that is nothing to do with someone else. It's all inner work in ourselves. And that's what I do now as a life coach. I help other women to make that bold news and change their mindset and really just live the life that they deserve.
Truly feeling fulfilled in what we do because it's so important. Mindset is so important. So let's go back to my earlier days. So true story. I took acting lessons and signed with a casting agency when I was in middle school, but every single time I went to an audition, the casting director would run out very excited.
Oh my God, Lucy Liu is on my list. They would make us so apparent that they were disappointed to see me. Oh, you're not the Lucy Liu. So that's the kind of childhood, I guess, I had early years when I started having problems with my name. Feeling like I would never be successful. And that is just not me.
A lot of people have those kinds of thoughts for other reasons. For example, they think their name is too long. Their name is too difficult to spell. They come from a neighborhood that's not so well. They're always feeling stuck in that situation. So these are all very similar situations where you can feel unworthy or left out or behind.
So, yeah, I went to many auditions and never got any role. Eventually I stopped going because I was no longer interested in being an actress. I became entrepreneur. The life was pretty dramatic for me in that in that term. But I had to pick myself back up every time, right?
So my confidence was crushed. I'm nobody. And then what I learned is I had to pick myself back up. And this self limiting belief actually stuck with me all my life. And I have to constantly regroup myself. For example, when I got married, I kept my maiden name.
So Lucy Liu is my maiden name. And because I wanted it to be a reminder that I need the confidence. And I am confident. And I can be confident. And now my job is to give others that confidence and give others hope, right? And confidence.
So when I started my coaching business, same thing happened. I thought of a name for my coaching business and it took me three months to start up.
And I had no clients to be honest. And the moment I actually decided, Oh, oops, I forgot, I need to reset myself. Show up, honest. A confident version of me, right? Bring the confident Lucy Liu back. I changed my name to Lucy Liu Coaching. I showed up more confidently and that's when clients were attracted to me because they wanted to work with me.
So whatever your limiting belief that might look like a different story for you. But, whatever that is, you can totally shatter it. So another limiting belief I have is, even though I graduated from a top university. I went to UCLA. I you know, I still feel as immigrant child, I still saw my English is not good enough.
Even today, I feel like my English is not good enough. That's just always a thought inside my head. So last year, that's exactly what I did. I started my own podcast and I just named it the Lucy Liu Show.
So I wanted to break my own limiting belief because that's what I do. I'm teaching my client and I thought, “Hey, if I'm talking the talk, I need to walk the walk myself”, right?
If I am helping others break their limiting beliefs, what can I do to break my own? So that's my constant thought and that's what I preach because I am unique. I am somebody. And so are you. So is everyone. So that's how I shattered my own glass ceiling.
I love that. The realization of our self limiting beliefs. That's the first step in being able to change them. For me, just realizing that a belief isn't something that's set in stone and it can be changed. It was just a turning point.
Let's talk a little bit about what it is and how you would define a self limiting belief and how you can become aware of your self limiting beliefs.
Ah, yes. You touched upon the keyword, aware. What a limiting belief is it could be false or untrue. It's a little voice that we're telling ourselves. It's that little negative talk your giving yourself. And it all starts with self-awareness, right?
When you want to change your life, you have to really start by noticing these little self talks you're giving yourself. Which of your beliefs is untrue, right? And when you make these self-awareness you're like I notice it. Chill.
You're calming it down, right? And that's the same thing as if you have any negative thoughts or you notice, you can even give it a puppy name.
Oh okay negative though. You're such a cute puppy. I notice you. But “shhh”. Shush it.
It all starts with that awareness. Then you can do opposite. Opposite is magic. If you're thinking, “Oh, this is so difficult. I can't do it. This is too hard.”
You gotta say the opposite. And say it out loud, if you have trouble thinking positive. “This is easy. I can easily do this.” And it starts with awareness.
Another example I want to give is, I saw someone drown in front of me when I was five years old at the beach. So ever since that day, I've been afraid to swim. Back in high school, we had this thing called the swimming proficiency test. You have to pass it in order to graduate. So I had to practice for months and months for this test, but I was only able to pass the test with my head out of the water.
So you can imagine swimming laps like with your head out. It really strains your back. It kills your breath. It kills your lungs.
One year after becoming a life coach, that's one of the other limiting beliefs. I'm constantly like listing out what kind of limiting beliefs can I break, right? What kind of fears in my life? And that's one of them.
One day when my daughter asked me to put my head down and swim with her. You know what? I just did it. After 30 something years, not being able to put my head down in water, I did it.
So lesson learned.
Mindset is a moment to moment shift. You know, all it takes is one true decision that you stick to.
Yes, absolutely. I love that you brought up the idea of fear. I love the idea of befriending your fear. Because a lot of times I think we feel that fear is an enemy, but fear is really just a part of being human.
When we start to worry and fear, we're pulling ourselves away from the present moment and we're living from our heads instead of our hearts.
Absolutely. What I do with my clients is we, together we turn any fear into excitement. Because a lot of emotions that you feel, for example, your heart might beat fast and you have sweaty palms. And these are all reactions from fear, but they are the same reactions you get from excitement. So what we do is we turn that fear into excitement. We think of how can this be an exciting event in my life instead of thinking this is something fearful.
Yeah, that's a great way to look at that. How have these experiences shattering these limiting beliefs affected the way you parent your daughter?
Oh, absolutely. I think being a mother is such an excitement. Here we're going back to mindset. I always tell people, I never ever have any parenting problems. And because that's the mindset I go in with into parenting. I actually don't have much problem. I really don't.
So the really obvious outcome of having the self confidence and these positivity is true positive things happening in your life. So even when things don't go as planned, I always have faith that things happen for a reason.
I always look for positive alternatives or, you know, really I always say, “Hey, life goes on”. I know you are really into reading as well. And I think inside the book, “Girl Wash Your Face“. It made a lot of sense to me that she said, “if your child is breathing and alive, you are doing a great job. You are an incredible mother.”
And that's how I look at it. Hey, she's alive. We are having a blast. We are so grateful. So no matter what happens, everything will be okay.
So there's yes, there are absolutely times when we're feeling maybe a little bit down, but I know that it's completely normal and I just need to move myself on in the most timely manner.
Yes, that's so true. Motherhood isn't an easy job and we put a lot on ourselves sometimes giving ourselves the grace to see the good that's going on in our day in our life is so important.
Lucy, if there is a mom listening right now and she's ready to break free of her self limiting beliefs, do you have any tips to help her move in that direction?
Yes, absolutely. I would say start with believing. I always say this, I truly believe that there is always a way. Whatever you're trying to break through, you gotta have that unshakable faith that it's going to happen and it's going to happen easily. For me, I believe it down to the point that its carved into my bones. It's in every fiber of my being that there is.
So instead of saying lies to myself. Like “I'm not ready yet. I'm not good enough.” Like all those negative things that we say as a women to ourselves. Or finding excuses. We're believing there is a way, therefore you will find a solution because you're going to have an open mind.
You're going to be on the lookout for opportunities and find the solution. Maybe the solution may not come today, but it absolutely will. And you truly believe that blessings are coming. And when all in your head is positive, you're vibrating on a positive vibration.
You're going to attract beautiful, positive things in your life. So don't let any obstacles stop you. Let those obstacles build up. I always use this analogy, rocks are going to be thrown at us in life, and that's just normal.
That's just the way of life. You're going to have rocks in your life. It's inevitable. But do you see these rock as boulders blocking your way or do you see these rocks as little pebbles? The exact pebbles that you need to pave your way to success and happiness.
So you really got to think about it. And thank each and every one of those pebbles for making you who you are. They are happening for you. They're not happening to you.
Yes, I love that! That's, there's so much wisdom right there. As we live each year in our bodies and have more experiences and more growth. I'm curious if you could go back in time, what's one thing you would tell your younger self?
That's hard. I would say to be mindful. To live in the now. This goes to one of my favorite quotes “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, which is why we call it the present.” So it could be about, a lot of times, whatever you're experiencing is because of something that already happened.
So yesterday is history. You gotta let go. It's already history. These don't let these past experiences affect you now. And other times we're spending our beautiful time worrying about the future.
So when that happens, you gotta remind yourself it's useless worrying about the future. So what do we have now? We have this moment at this moment, if I'm living happily if I'm living joyfully from moment to moment, then I'm living a joyful day. And from day to day, year to year, you're going to have a beautiful life.
Oh yes, that's one of my favorite quotes too, Lucy. It's beautiful.
I'm so glad you liked that. That was very difficult to digest when I was young, right? I was always looking further into the future where I wasn't. So I was never at a happy place.
And when you're not happy, when you're in the negative spiral, you are attracting negativity into your life. And now I consider myself an unshakeable optimist. That doesn't mean things don't happen.
You got to know circumstances are neutral. Things still happen. How we react to them is going to directly reflect your experience.
So if something happens you get to put, positive or negative to it. And that will determine your experience. And therefore that will determine your life.
Hi, Beautiful Mama. I just want to pause for a moment. Being a mom isn't easy. Your patience gets tested on a daily basis. You may not even own a shirt that doesn't have spit-up or some unidentifiable food stain on it.
You would probably give anything to be able to go to the bathroom by yourself at least once a day. If you are feeling stressed out and overwhelmed, it's time to bring more of you into your day.
One of the best ways I found to help the moms I work with bring self care into their busy days is to create a consistent self care morning routine.
Not only will this help you nourish your soul and fill your cup, it will allow you to feel calm so you can handle whatever mom life throws your way.
Join the 7-Day Morning Routine Challenge to start your mornings with intention and bring more calm to your days. You can find the link to join the challenge in the show notes. Now let's get back to our episode.
I love talking with my moms about prioritizing themselves in their days and tuning in and seeing what they need moment to moment. And that's part of living in the present moment.
I'd love to know when one thing that you do for yourself that makes you feel nourished and loved and it fills your cup?
Priorities are so important. This is what I preach. Priorities and values. You've got to list down your own values. And you've got to list down your priorities. And when everything you do is aligned with your priorities and values that's when you're going to have a good life.
So for me, my priority and values definitely have everything to do with my family and my daughter. So everything with her and my self care is a top priority. So when I'm planning on my days and all my schedules, you gotta start with your non-negotiables. What's non-negotiable for you?
You got to list them down first. Okay? If you are doing work first, then you're going to be like, well, I don't have time for this. I don't have time for that. No. You gotta start with your non-negotiables first.
For me, that looks like I'm walking every day. That looks like meditation with my daughter. And journaling before time, right? So these little things that that's important to me. Those are my priorities.
And I always say that you are the CEO of your life.
Like a CEO sets the strategy and vision for a corporation. And it is up to each of us to set the strategy and vision for our lives. Therefore, you are the CEO of your life.
So you really have to take control and list out your priorities and values. And it also makes you more productive because once you have those non-negotiables in your schedule. You're like, oh, well then I only have like so many hours to do other things.
Then you're going to be more productive. And then you will probably have to learn to set a boundary to say no because you don't have time for everything.
Yes. That was beautifully said. I find that the same thing is true in my life. If I put what fills my cup and nourishes me first, then everything else seems to fall into place and I'm more focused when I do everything else.
Yes. Now you just reminded me of someone. A guest I had on my podcast. An analogy she used was, you have a cup, rocks, sand, and water. So what goes in first in the cup is very important.
Our non-negotiables are like the rocks, right? You gotta put the rocks in the cup and then you fill it with work. So that's, that's like the sand. And then lastly, all the extra things are like water.
So that way you get rocks, sand, and water. But if you fill the whole cup with sand first, there's going to be no room for the rocks and the water. So yeah, prioritizing is really important.
Yes. That was wonderful. Do you have any final thoughts you'd like to share with us?
Yeah, sure. I have so many tips to give. But, I would say you can always start anytime, right? You don't have to wait until a big dramatic event. Like people say they want to start their business, but I'm gonna wait until…
You don't have to wait until the next big event until you do something. The little moments can add up. Right?
You don't have to wait until a big aha moment. To do that thing that you want. Change your life. Make a difference. You can always be in the constant lookout, right? You can always flex your muscle, right?
Whether it be gratitude muscle or confidence muscle. Whatever you need to work on, which area of your life you need to work on. Just flex it. Start it now. And if you feel like you need a reboot in your life, anytime, it's like a phone, it's not working.
If something's not working, it's fine. Don't stress about it. Just regroup yourself. I'm Intentionally always resetting and rebooting myself so that I give myself that personal life and start my life and make sure that I'm becoming the best version of myself.
Oh, I love that, Lucy. Thank you so much. Where can we find you online?
Yes, I'm very active on Instagram. My handle is at @msluciu, and pretty much I have the same handle across all social and also on my website, lucyloucoaching.com.
Well, perfect. You have such a beautiful energy. Thank you so much for sharing your story and your wisdom with us today.
Thank you so much for having me, Catherine. To all the beautiful listeners – You are incredible. You're remarkable. More blessings are coming your way.
Thanks for joining me, Mama. I'm over here giving you a big virtual hug. I love spending this time with you. You are amazing for showing up and carving out this space to nourish your soul. If you are loving the Soul Care Mom Podcast, be sure to subscribe and leave a review.
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