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How to Create Family Routines that Work

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[Ready to create family routines that bring more ease into mom life? Discover simple ways to create family routines that work!]

I remember pondering the idea of homeschooling when my oldest was a few years old.

I dreaded the idea of having no breaks.

I worried about what life would look like when my daughter was done taking naps.

I knew that I needed some quiet time to myself daily.

As excited as I was about homeschooling, I had a hard time wrapping my head around the logistics of it all.

That’s when a friend told me about quiet time.

A time during the day when your kids can read, nap, or quietly play.

That was a game changer for us!

This simple addition to our daily routine helped our family find our flow and infuse our day with self care.

Routines can be so helpful to guide your family through the day.

Knowing what to expect can help you and your kiddos reduce stress and decision fatigue.

That’s why I’m thrilled to share the latest episode of the Soul Care Mom Podcast with you!

Mom life throws a lot at us and having family routines and systems can help us to move through our days with more grace and ease.

Today my guest on the Soul Care Mom Podcast is Danny Lynnes, a mom of three with a superpower for helping moms create family routines and systems so that they can tame the chaos of mom life. If you are ready to create family routines that work for your family, you are not going to want to miss this episode.

Let’s dive in.

[Disclaimer: we are not health professionals. This chat is solely based on research and personal experience. If you have any concerns please seek out the help of your trusted health professionals.]

[Please Note: This post may contain affiliate links. This means that Soul Care Mom may receive a small commission if you click through and make a purchase, at no additional cost to you. Please see disclaimers for more information.]

Catherine Wilde

Hi Dani, thank you so much for joining me today.

Dani Lynnes

Hi, it’s a pleasure to be here with you.

Catherine Wilde

So one of the many reasons that I was excited to talk with you today is that I feel like we’re soul sisters and that we both have a similar passion to empower moms and support moms.

And one thing that I truly love about your work is that you help moms with family routines and systems to help them kind of calm the chaos. And I definitely want to get into that. But first, I just love to know a little bit more about you and your story and how you came to help moms. What led you here?

Dani Lynnes

Yeah, absolutely. OK, so I am a mom of three. I actually became a mom when I was twenty-one, so I was a young mom at first.

I was still in college. And I also always worked in child care. So I started in childcare when I was 15. That was one of my first jobs. And it just kind of stuck with me. And that’s actually where I met my husband.

Dani Lynnes

Basically, what has happened is over the last 10 years, I’ve heard from moms that as they’re picking up their kids, they’re doing drop offs. How stressed they are. How chaotic life is. And I’ve always found myself standing with them and helping them through different routines. Or, you know, what would work for their child, because every child is different and every family is different. And so really trial and error is what I say is what we do with children is when one thing doesn’t work, we just move on to the next thing.

Dani Lynnes

And until we find something that clicks for their personality and their routines, basically. And so over the last 16 years of doing that, just this last year, at the beginning of 2020, I had the opportunity to really dig deep and start a business. And so I really worked with moms. I’ve always wanted and had a passion to work with moms. I just never really had what I say is the time to do it.

Dani Lynnes

My husband opened up our child care center in 2010 and then I started here in 2012. So we’ve been doing it for several years. And I mean, it’s a 6:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. job. I don’t get a break, I don’t leave throughout the day. And so I never really said I had the time to do anything else. And I finally put it at the forefront and really spent this last year focusing on how I can help moms.

And it’s been, again, a trial and error process. I’ve tried to launch different things throughout the year. And with covid, I mean, things didn’t always work out or went according to plan. But I think I finally have found my niche and how I can help moms, and that is with really setting up a routine that’s unique to them and creating systems in place that can help them be more successful as they do their job, as they go to their career, but also as moms, too.

How Do I Create a Family Routine?

Catherine Wilde

I love that. And so if we could start like at the beginning, how would you even help a mom figure out where she might need routines in her life?

And, you know, if there’s one mom that’s listening right now and she’s really overwhelmed with the idea of even creating a routine, where she can start? What tips do you have for her?

Dani Lynnes

I would say really sitting down and figuring out where exactly you want your routine to start. And start small. I think especially for moms, it’s overwhelming to try and do it all. Because that’s what we always try to do, is doing it all. And it doesn’t work that way.

And so I always say small, simple steps is the first step, basically. So what’s one small thing that you can do today? And then just keep building on it as you’ve developed that habit.

Dani Lynnes

So like right now I’m doing a morning routine with moms and that’s one simple step that whether it’s just ten minutes of reading or prepping your dinner in the morning before you wake up the kids. One simple step that you can do to make your day a little bit more easy.

Helping Everyone Transition into a New Family Routine

Catherine Wilde

And I love that it’s yes, simple steps are the way to go. I believe that, too. OK, so if you’re starting to implement a new routine and your children aren’t used to it, and there there’s resistance there to the idea of a new schedule. And it might vary depending on the age of the kids, but what advice do you have to help everyone transition into a new routine more smoothly?

Dani Lynnes

Yeah, absolutely.

So, yeah, it all depends on the age. And so, I mean, if they’re older and you can talk to them and explain things, it would be more of like a family meeting. So let’s sit down, guys, and and really talk about how we’re going to go through bedtime and maybe have you know, I’ve I built the sheets before where each child has their own little picture so they can see, OK, the toothbrush is first and then it’s a book and then it’s whatever the routine looks like.

Dani Lynnes

We’re obviously as they’re younger. It’s a little bit I shouldn’t say easier, but you don’t need their permission to do it more so. It’s more of just being consistent with it. So really starting if it’s a bedtime routine with an infant and you’re trying to get them from co-sleeping to a crib. Really just being consistent and again, doing the small steps. So nap time is in the crib, maybe for the first week or two until we get used to it.

Dani Lynnes

And then after that, then we can position ourselves to the crib. That’s just an example. But really just I would say for those older ones to get everybody on board and everybody excited about what the routine is going to be. And then also letting them know what’s in it for them because they probably will hit resistance. And so letting them know if we can get through the first five days, Monday through Friday, then maybe we’ll have pizza for dinner on Friday. Or something like that so that there’s something for them as well.

Catherine Wilde

Yeah, I love that. And the picture thing, I did that with my oldest daughter when I was trying to have her be more independent as our family grew. And that was really helpful. She could visually see, like, this is what we do next. This is what we do next. I love that idea. And just in general, having routines helps me. It’s one less thing I have to think about. You know, this is just how we typically do it, you know?

And I see that it helps my kids thrive, too. So I really love this topic.

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Staying Flexible with Your Routines

Catherine Wilde

So you have this routine in place, but mom life doesn’t always go like we planned. Honestly, it very rarely does. Right?

So how about flexibility? So once we get clear our plan and give any tips on what to do, how to stay flexible on our routines when things don’t go as planned?

Dani Lynnes

Yes, so really it is and this is something I’ve learned and I think 2020 taught us a lot about this is being flexible, having grace, and just knowing that it’s not going to always go how you want it to go.

And this is something that’s really hard for me. Just recently, I’ve kind of mastered it. Where you’re just doing a little bit each day and you’re not going to see the full results in that that one day. It’s going to build up over time.

Dani Lynnes

And just going into that with that understanding. It’s basically having that open mind that you’re not going to see it all happen right away, if that makes sense. And really just figuring out what that outlet would be for you.

So some moms maybe journaling it and really keeping track. It’s kind of like a goal as well. You want to have a measurable goal.

Dani Lynnes

And so maybe starting out for your routine, we’re going to be doing this first and then we’re going to build on and do it this way and then and then go forward.

Catherine Wilde

I love that. And I think you’re so right. Grace is so important. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s supposed to help you and not make things more stressful, right?

Dani Lynnes

Yeah. Something I have. I’m a perfectionist. I just I like things the way that they are and I like things in order. And I’ve really learned that it doesn’t always need to be that way.

Incorporating Self Care into Your Morning Routine

Catherine Wilde

Kids are definitely good at helping us break that habit of being perfectionists. You talk about journaling. How can we use the setting of routines to help us bring more of us into our day? More self care into our day? And prioritize that?

Dani Lynnes

Yeah, moms need to make sure that they’re keeping themselves a priority, it’s so easy for us to not, and focus on our kids and our career and our husbands or our significant other and always put ourselves last.

That’s a big thing. When I talk to moms, a lot of the times they don’t even want to to really enroll in one of my programs because, you know, I could put that money somewhere else. That’s a hard thing.

Dani Lynnes

And so what I have found is a simple just morning routine is something that really gives you that that self care aspect. You can also do little things throughout the day, whether it’s just going to get yourself a little cup of coffee or if it’s sitting in your car before you actually walk in the house. You’re alone and you want to listen to your favorite song.

I mean, it does not have to be an hour-long trip to the spa or it doesn’t need to be anything huge. It just needs to be something that’s going to give you a little bit of whether it’s quiet, whether it’s fun, whether it’s just wellness. But just something little. And really making that your priority each day. Just something small is what I would say.

Catherine Wilde

I love that. Yes. Even just sometimes just taking a deep breath or go into the bathroom by yourself or. Yeah. Just sitting in the car listening to a song. Those are beautiful. Like just little things can help to refresh you throughout the day because like you said, you don’t you you work full time and you don’t always get breaks. So I’m sure that you have some really great practices built in there.

You were talking about morning routines. I love hearing about people’s morning routines are so inspiring.

How to Create a Family Morning Routine that Works for YOU

Catherine Wilde

So can you tell us what you’re doing right now for your morning routine?

Dani Lynnes

So we actually live outside of town, so we’re about a half an hour away from our center. So drive time is a big thing in the morning. And our center opened at six thirty. And so we do have someone that opens the center and helps us out. But I do have to be here by 7:00, like that’s my deadline to be here. And so when I create a morning routine, I go backwards and I go, OK, so I have to leave the house by 6:30 a.m..

What things do I want to master in that morning time? And then that’s kind of this time that I’m going to wake up is kind of how I have had it set up and what my morning looks like. We just got a new puppy actually about a month ago. And he has been a terror and he’s basically like a newborn and I have no sleep. So he’s my accountability partner for this morning routine now because the minute my alarm goes off, he definitely wakes up and then I have to hurry up and get him out before he’ll he’ll go anywhere.

Dani Lynnes

So basically at 4:45 a.m., I’ll wake up with the dog duties. And then I will do some journaling, reading. I really try to write my gratitudes and affirmations during that journal time. I have a book that I’m trying to read. And they’re really small increments. So I practice what I preach. It’s really small. I don’t have a lot of time in the morning because I don’t want to wake up at 3:00 a.m. In the morning. So I figured something small is better than nothing.

And then once I’m done reading and journaling, then I really want to move my body just 20 minutes. Just something simple. And then and then I spend half an hour on my business. And that’s just really engaging with people on social media, connecting with people, doing a post, scheduling out my day, looking at my calendar. Just so that I’m kind of set up for the day. And then the last half an hour is spent getting ready and getting my kids ready.

Dani Lynnes

So we’re out the door. So that’s it’s been really, really helpful. I can tell just with me how much happier I am my night. There are a lot more free time because I’m spending my mornings doing all that engaging. And I don’t have to think about it all day long that I have to get it done. Or I don’t get it done at all. And so I feel much more at ease at night when I get home, because I don’t feel that pressure to rush them to bed and so that I can get my other things done.

So it’s been really helpful now. I love that.

Catherine Wilde

I love how you worked backward. That’s really great. And then you’re right it’s the little things. My day isn’t nearly as packed as yours is. I’m amazed that all you do. But just doing a little bit of like mind, body, and soul nourishing in the morning helps to set me up for the day. And helps me to be a lot more present and calm and patient and throughout the day. So I love those tips. Thank you.

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Catherine Wilde

So if you could go back in time to when you first became a mom, with all the experience that you gained and everything. What would you tell yourself?

Dani Lynnes

Oh. I would tell her that she’s on the right track. Because I feel like, as a mom, especially as a young mom for me, I was so scared. I wasn’t so scared of how I was going to do it because I knew I could do it.

It was just more scared of the judgment of being a young mom and and what people will think, because we weren’t married, we were living together. Just people judging you basically. But knowing that I’m on the right track, like this is my journey. This is my story. And regardless of what obstacles are coming in your way, you will overcome them and it’ll just be a part of your story.

So just keep pushing through. You’re on the right track. And yeah, everything’s going to be turn out just fine and be great.

Catherine Wilde

That’s beautiful. I think that’s something that most moms need to hear more often.

Dani Lynnes

Yeah. Oh,

Catherine Wilde

You’re amazing, Dani. Thank you so much for all of the tips and insights. Let us know where we can find you online.

Dani Lynnes

So I am on Instagram just @DannyLynnes and then I am also on Facebook and you can just search Danny Lynnes again. And really everything is on there. So if you want to look into anything, I do have a couple different programs. I do a lot of free challenges. I kind of switch it up every other month as to kind of what my audience is telling me they want.

So our next one, I’ll probably be in March, but just check it out and really just kind of look at everything that I have on there because I had a lot of free value and things that that are super useful.

Catherine Wilde

Yes, your work is really inspiring. Is there anything else that you’d like to add?

Dani Lynnes

I don’t think so. I just want to really thank you for letting me come on and talk to you. I love connecting with other moms and really just hearing your story and following you on social media has been awesome, too. Because you always add such good stuff as well. So thank you so much.

Catherine Wilde

Thank you so much for this beautiful conversation.

Thanks for joining me, Mama, I’m over here smiling from ear to ear and giving you a big virtual hug. I love spending this time with you. You are amazing for showing up and carving out this space to nourish your soul. If you are loving the Soul Care Mom Podcast, be sure to subscribe and leave a review.

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Sending you so much love, mama.

Catherine Wilde - Founder of Soul Care Mom - Self Care For Busy Moms - A Mom Coach, Helping Busy Moms, Like You, Release Mom Guilt & Go From Anxious Mom To Calm Mom

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