[If you struggle with complaining or just wish you could feel happier more often, this is will help you!]
I recently found myself complaining, and I immediately berated myself for doing this. And then I realized my mistake.
If you struggle with complaining, or just wish you could feel happier more often, this is for you.
When I find myself complaining, I usually do my best to be intentional about looking for the good. Part of that is being intentional about noticing when I’m complaining and catching myself so that I can create this shift in my patterns and my ways of responding.
But I still find myself complaining sometimes.
Most recently, it was complaining over the feeling of overwhelm that I was having in my schedule and my to do list.
My first reaction was judgment. The little voice in my head said, You shouldn’t be complaining.
This voice was berating me for complaining, and it took me a moment to realize that that wasn’t actually helpful.
Here’s what I did instead.
When I noticed this unkind voice popping up, I didn’t judge that voice and then try to push it away too.
Do you see how that would simply be more of the same, judging myself for judging myself? It’s this really unhelpful loop that I have been stuck in before, that it can be easy to find ourselves it, right?
Here’s How To Stop Complaining
Thinking that we’re helping to fix a situation, but instead we are perpetuating it.
Step 1 – Bring Awareness To The Complaint + Any Judgements
So instead, I simply acknowledged it notice that it was there.
But I didn’t feed it, I didn’t give it more fuel, and I also didn’t resist it. I simply became aware of it. And once it quieted down, I allowed myself to dig a little deeper and get curious. And what I found surprised me.
Step 2 – Listen To The Message Underneath The Complaint
My complaints, my act of complaining, was actually serving a purpose in this moment. It was coming up because I was feeling off balance and out of alignment. I felt like my schedule was in control of me instead of the other way around. Have you been there before, love? I’m wondering if you can relate.
And as I became aware of this, I was able to see that I was feeling disempowered and my inner wisdom was asking me to notice. And because I wasn’t listening, it spoke louder. It literally spoke out of my mouth.
Step 3 – Care For Your Needs
And I knew that I didn’t need to stay stuck in complaining once I understood that, right? When I was able to listen to the messages of my emotions, I could immediately start to create a shift so that I didn’t keep going down the same disempowering path.
How To Take Control Of Your Life
And it makes me think of the complaint department of a company or an HR department, right? That place that you go to take your complaints so that they can help you to work through your issues, so that they can help you to get the resources you need. And as a parent, or really just as an adult, you are the CEO of your life.
You are also the CFO and you’re the HR manager. And when you listen in and you hear the messages underneath the complaints, you can step into your power and bring together the resources and support you need to resolve the issues that are coming up. You have that power in your life and it’s time to own it.
So often we are giving our power away, not even knowing that it was ours to begin with. We feel like the outside circumstances rule our life and that’s simply not true. Sure, life is always happening and new situations are always coming up.
But you get to decide how you dance with it. You get to decide where you pivot on your path and where you reach out for collaborations. And as you get clear on what you need, know that you can reach out to the people.
And as you get clear on what you need, know that you can reach out to people and get the support you need to thrive. And as you get clear on what you need, know that you can reach out and get the support you need to thrive.
You don’t have to do this alone or figure this out alone. And that’s where talking to a friend or a coach can help tremendously. It can help you to brainstorm and find new perspectives and sort through what’s going on within you so that your inner wisdom has space to shine through.
Whining vs Complaining
And this is true for our children, too. When our children do this complaining, it’s usually called whining, right? And it’s not the behavior that’s actually the problem.
And you might hear a parent say, “Oh, I wish my child would stop whining”. That’s the problem. The behavior is simply trying to get your attention for the underlying issue.
Address The Complaining & Feel Happier
So what’s something you’re complaining about in your life right now or an area where you’re feeling disempowered? Know that it doesn’t have to be that way.
Allow yourself to tune in and see what you need.
You have more power and ability to create change in your life than you realize.
If you need help stepping into your power and finding more ease in your schedule, be sure to join us in Vibrant Mom Life.
We have new themes each month and we’re diving into how to let go of the hustle culture. It’s an epic dive into creating time freedom so you can release anxiety and finally slow down and be more present as a mom.
Click the button to join Vibrant Mom Life today!
I want to leave you with this loving reminder. You are right where you need to be on your journey. You are more than enough and you are so loved.
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Sending you so much love, Mama.
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I’m Catherine Wilde homeschool mama, yoga & meditation teacher, best selling author, and mom life coach. I believe you can feel calm and find your unshakable confidence as a mom, when you first care for yourself.