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How To Create Daily Self Care Habits As A Busy Mom

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[Struggle to find time for self care as a mom? These simple daily self care habits will help you find time for yourself even on your busiest days!]

If you have ever felt lost, like the person that you were disappeared into the sea of mom life, you are certainly not alone. My guest today on the soul care mom podcast is Melissa Salmeron, a certified master life coach.

She shares with us how to implement daily self care habits and mom habits that will help you to find yourself again and prioritize your self care so that you can truly enjoy mom life. So grab a pen and paper or open the notes app on your phone, so you can capture and implement all of the nuggets of wisdom in this conversation.

You can also listen to this conversation on iTunes, Spotify, or your preferred podcast platform.

[Disclaimer: The information shared is from personal experiences and/or research. We’re not medical professionals. We share in hopes that it will help you tap into new insights and inspire you. Everything shared is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for medical advice. Always seek the guidance of a trusted health professional for your unique journey.]

[Please Note: This post may contain affiliate links. This means that Soul Care Mom may receive a small commission if you click through and make a purchase, at no additional cost to you. Please see disclaimers for more information.]

Catherine Wilde

Hi there, soulful mama. Welcome to the Soul Care Mom Podcast. I’m Catherine Wilde of Soulcaremom.com I’m a mom of three amazing kids. A soul care mom coach and a yoga and meditation teacher. I’ve helped hundreds of women and I’m here to help you feel calm and find your unshakable confidence as a mom.

If you’re ready to stop living in survival mode and you’re ready to drop the mom guilt and overwhelm, this podcast is for you. Think of this as a lunch date with a girlfriend, grab a cup of tea and get cozy. It’s time to get honest and vulnerable and shift the traditional mindset around motherhood.

Be sure to subscribe to be the first to know when new episodes are released. Get ready to grow and feel empowered as a mom. I’m here for you, mama.

Let’s get started.

Quick and easy self care habits for busy momsPin

Transformational Mom Habits

Catherine Wilde

Hi Melissa.

Thank you so much for joining me today.

Melissa Salmeron

Catherine, thank you so much for having me it’s such a pleasure to be on your show. Thank you.

Catherine Wilde

I am so happy to get to talk with you and I’m excited to dive into all of the tips you have for us around self care and habits. But first, I’d love for you to share your story. You’ve been on quite a journey and you shared a little bit with me about how you felt a loss of identity after having your second kiddo.

Catherine Wilde

Would you mind sharing a bit of that journey with us?

Melissa Salmeron

Yes, absolutely. So I am a mom of three and today there are eleven, seven, and almost two. And I shared with you, Catherine, how I have a boy, girl, boy. So after my daughter was born and probably around the time she was two or so, I will just never forget waking up one day and thinking, who am I? Where did I go?

And realized that I had this perfect life that I sort of had mapped out from childhood. I always dreamed that I was going to have the husband, the white picket fence, and the 2.5 kids.

So I had it all.

But I just remember thinking like, is this all this is is this, is this what there is to life? This is what I wanted, but I don’t know where I am anymore. And I feel actually really bad about the fact that I’m not happy with the way my life is because on paper it was pretty much perfect. And that sent me on a journey of self discovery where I immediately knew I needed help. I’d always been someone who had been into personal development and I always read all the books and wanted to gather additional tools just to make life better.

Melissa Salmeron

But I realized that I needed more than just a book. And so I ended up seeking out a counselor who I still see today almost six years later and just getting her reflections back on what was going on in my life and giving me some additional insights and tools that I never had.

And I know we’re going to talk about a few of these things today, but that process was I thought that I knew myself and finding out that I really never knew myself was like, it was a little bit hard to wrap my head around. Not that I never knew myself, but I just had kind of lost myself. Or there was a lot about myself but I just never really been able to see, if that makes sense.

Catherine Wilde

It does. Yeah.

And I think so many moms can relate to that. That feeling of just feeling lost in motherhood because motherhood is such a huge transition. And then feeling that guilt around having this beautiful gift of motherhood and then still wanting to nourish all the other parts of yourself.

You feel like you’re just not doing it right or not doing it perfectly. And there’s some shame that comes with that. So can we talk about perfection for a minute?

Melissa Salmeron

Oh yeah, that is a daily practice still, I have to remind myself and I was just mentioning that to you when I realized that 70% perfect was like really 100% perfect. That was so huge for me because actually I never thought that I was a perfectionist until probably a couple of years ago, to be honest, because I’ve always been generally a laidback person.

But it started coming up for me as I am so committed I have always been so committed to my own personal development that it just started coming up for me that anytime that I was working on something and commit to something I would really put so much pressure on myself.

And then I started recognizing that I’ve been putting pressure on myself in so many areas of my life for just a long time and it just had become just habitual. Right?

It was just like always when I thought about it, always thinking that I wasn’t doing well enough at work, always thinking that I was not showing up as the best mom that I could be, I wasn’t being the best friend that I could, I wasn’t being the best wife that I could. It was just showing up everywhere.

And I had to really make a conscious effort to unlearn this habit of mine of putting that pressure on myself. And like I said, that’s still something that I have to practice. But what really was a game changer for me in that process was learning self compassion and just everything that I do.

I’m just putting an intense spotlight on self compassion for myself and being very intentional about that when something went wrong, instead of going to that immediate thought of why did I do that and why did this happen? And I should know better.

And those all things that so many of us do, we all know that should is a word that should be banned from vocabulary, right? So, yeah, I would say self compassion was huge for me and working through my perfectionism tendencies.

Catherine Wilde

Yes, I think you’re so right. There’s that critical voice in so many of our heads that it’s not really that helpful, right. It’s keeping us from actually living and enjoying life. There’s a quote from Jill Churchill that I like that says, there’s no way to be a perfect mom, but a million ways to be a good one. And I think our kids don’t need us to be perfect, right, where human life is messy and self compassion, like you said, is so important.

And they’re noticing that too. When we are kind with ourselves, they’re going to be kind with themselves and they hopefully won’t have to go through such a struggle and they’ll be able to listen to that in our critic and say, you know what? Thank you, I love you, but I’m doing okay.

I am enough the way I am. And I think you’re right. There are things that it’s okay to have goals and passions and interests and hobbies, but enjoying that journey instead of putting that pressure on ourselves and being so hard on ourselves, I love that. Okay, so I want to dive into habits, but first, let’s talk a little bit about the why. Why should we even create these habits in the first place?

Catherine Wilde

So we talked about how becoming a mom is this really big shift and so often we’re really unprepared for it and it’s all consuming, right? We’re so tired that our little ones need us so much.

And so finding that balance between caring for them and caring for ourselves can be hard. But it’s really important to be able to keep your sanity, right?

Melissa Salmeron

Absolutely.

Catherine Wilde

So personally, for me, self are was a game changer. It helps me every day to show up as the mom that I want to be. It’s definitely not perfect, but I found that it’s necessary. It’s so important. So can you share your perspective on self care and why creating self care habits and daily habits with self care can help us not only help you as a mom, but help the entire family, help things go more smoothly for everyone.

Melissa Salmeron

Oh, yeah. I’ll share just a short story about the beginning of my therapy days where my therapist is trying to get me to recognize the importance of self care. And I will say I was extremely reluctant in the beginning.

And I’ll never forget her asking me, have you ever thought about have you ever considered when you get home from work taking 15 minutes just to transition from work mode to mom mode and what an impact that could have on your life?

And I just remember thinking that she was absolutely bonkers and there was no way that I was going to be able to take 15 minutes. I was just thinking that the world would fall apart if I wasn’t there. Just like immediately into mom mode, doing all the things that we all know that we have to do in the evenings. It’s always like it was sort of crazy at that time in my life, right?

Like trying to get dinner baths and read the books and do the homework and get to bed on time and all of that. So I just share that I totally get people when they have a hard time really thinking that self care can change their lives.

Melissa Salmeron

So it really took me hitting pretty much rock bottom to really take this notion of self care to seriously. And this was only a couple of years ago. I mean, I would do things for myself. I’d always had some routines, don’t get me wrong, I’d always had some evening routines that I really needed to wind down. I’d always placed sleep as a priority, but I was neglecting to realize how much self care really needed to keep me at my ultimate levels.

And so after my third child was born, it was sort of that readjustment period of adapting to three children was really, really nuts for me. And I was very overwhelmed. I had always struggled with anxiety, and I was like in a peak anxiety state.

And I’ll never forget one day a friend called me and we were arranging a play date, and then she asked me how I was doing. And I just remember breaking down and saying, like, I don’t know, I’m going to do this. It’s just so much. And she gave me one of the greatest invitations of my life.

She said, “oh, my gosh, I’ve been meaning to tell you about this meditation that I do that they hold here locally where I live.”

Melissa Salmeron

“And if you’re interested, I’ll go with you. Just let me know when.”

And I immediately said, “can we go today? Can we go to right now? Right now?”

Because I’d always wanted to meditate but I would never allow myself the time to slow down. I just would never allow myself that time unless it was convenient for everyone else. Basically, I think that’s why the bedtime routine was so easy, and sleep, for the most part, was just an easier thing because I didn’t inconvenience anyone else.

But this was me saying like, I need to do something for myself. For me, and it’s okay that it’s in the middle of the day or whatever it is whenever it needs to be for me. Right? And I realized that was like slowing my mind down as something that I had never been able to do.

So meditation was just like getting present was the key to really transforming my whole family’s life because it was very elusive to me. It’s like I wanted to spend time with quality time with my kids, but I would be at home in the evenings and I would be thinking about other things or I would be wanting to steal some time from myself.

Melissa Salmeron

Right? So it may be like destruction with the phone or on social media or something else. And I was just not fully present as I wanted to be with them. And so I started noticing as I started incorporating self are care and we’re not talking about anything hugely major.

In the beginning, it started small. It was a few minutes a day of meditation sort of added. And I always adapt what I need depending on what’s going on in my life. But it was just huge in the way that actually then in the evenings when I was home with them, I was just magically able to, it wasn’t even something I thought about. I was just magically realizing that, oh wow, I’m a whole lot calmer with them.

I’m a whole lot less reactive with them. And the same thing with my husband.

Catherine Wilde

It helps in all relationships. It helps you show up differently.

Melissa Salmeron

It does.

Catherine Wilde

Yeah.

Catherine Wilde

And I love what you said about how you felt like you couldn’t take time for yourself unless it wasn’t inconveniencing anyone else. You’re so not alone there. I think that’s a beautiful example of that beginning to set those loving boundaries around your needs.

Melissa Salmeron

Yes.

Habits of Successful People

Catherine Wilde

Okay, so let’s talk about the habit. So there’s a lot of talk about habits these days, about it, types of habits, habits of successful people. Mom, habits. Can we talk about what a habit is and how creating and implementing a daily self care habit or habits can help you to be a happier mom, and how can we start to bring this into our lives? How do we do this?

Melissa Salmeron

Yeah, so I think the first thing about habits is just deciding what you want to commit to. Right? And realizing that it doesn’t have to be I think the biggest thing is realizing that it doesn’t have to be something huge. So exercise is always a really great one.

I feel like talking about it because everyone is familiar with it, like, that wanting to get into a routine exercise habit or routine. For me, I used to think of like, okay, well, I want to exercise, and it needs to look like 30 minutes a day, five times a week, or three times a week or whatever it was.

mom using practical self care tips for easy daily self carePin

Types of Habits

It was just so big. I think, first of all, understanding what you want to commit to and then making that small step. Maybe it’s not that you need to commit to that three times a week. That five times a week. But maybe it’s just that you need to get into some momentum around it.

So I totally shifted my exercise to commit to 15 minutes a day, every single day because it was just so much easier than saying, okay, I’ll do Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and then Monday comes around and you’re like, oh, I’m tired.

Melissa Salmeron

I still have six days left of the week. And so I’ll do it. I’ve got that time. And then when you get to the end of the week, it’s like, oh, I missed that goal. And then it’s like, okay, you can never really get any momentum going.

It’s easier, I also learned this from a coach of mine that was hugely impactful, to be 100% committed to something rather than 99% committed. So when I heard about it, oh, okay. I mean, this applies to everything. This applies to everything in our lives, right?

It’s like maybe eating habits as well. Letting myself go on the weekends, right? Like letting myself have those cheap meals on the weekends. There’s nothing wrong with that. But I think, again, it goes back to this.

Like, have it if you want it, but realizing that like a one off from your daily routine, it’s like, oh, I enjoy eating this way. I enjoy my diet being this way on an everyday basis. And then, like, every so often, you know, I go off track, that’s okay, because I know I’m going to get right back on because I’ve got this momentum going.

Catherine Wilde

I love that.

Yeah.

And I think that’s a really good point, that every day, creating a daily habit helps you to be consistent.

Right?

Catherine Wilde

It’s not like, oh, some days I do it, some days I don’t. And even if every day means maybe every day isn’t like full of cardio or something, maybe it’s stretching one day or just doing something every single day. And that’s I think any part of self care right. Meditation, or just doing a little bit every day.

Even if you can’t get your full routine ritual, anything that you do, just fitting bits of it into your day is so important. It helps you feel just recognized and acknowledged. Just that caring for yourself.

Melissa Salmeron

I think it’s so hugely impactful to your self esteem when you can commit to something and follow through on something.

Catherine Wilde

Yes.

Melissa Salmeron

And as mom, it’s so easy for us to commit some things for other people. Right? It’s so easy for us to do things and follow through on the things that we say we’re going to do for other people, but it’s not as easy to do that for ourselves.

Catherine Wilde

Yes.

Catherine Wilde

Making that promise to yourself and then sticking to it is really beautiful. And then, just like you were talking about how it’s easy to commit to things for other people, for me, I find it helpful if I can schedule it in. So this time is for me, blocking it out helps me to see it as an actual thing that I need to do for myself.

Catherine Wilde

How do you do that?

Melissa Salmeron

Yes, that is a great point, Catherine. So, yes, every day at the same time, I do the same thing, and that also further cements that habit in place. Right?

So every morning when I wake up, I spend my time meditating, and then I’ll do the next thing, and then I’ll do the next thing, and then I’ll brush my teeth. It’s built into, like you’re basically like, on autopilot. You don’t have to think about it.

Catherine Wilde

Right.

Melissa Salmeron

It’s just something I do to the point where after you’ve done it a while, if you are really tired one night and you forget to do your nightly routine, you’re going to feel it.

You’re going to be like, oh, something’s missing. What am I missing?

Oh, yeah, right. Like, I didn’t do my journaling or whatever it is that I like to do, or I forget to exercise today, or whatever it is, and it just won’t feel right if you don’t do it.

Catherine Wilde

Right.

Catherine Wilde

Okay, so let’s talk about time. And so it took me a while to learn, and I still have to remind myself from time to time that time is neutral. It’s all about how we choose to prioritize it.

Melissa Salmeron

Yes.

Catherine Wilde

Can you share a little bit about how changing your habits can actually save you time, and how all that works for you? How do you feel about fitting all of this into your day now?

Melissa Salmeron

Yeah, I think what you said, Catherine, about putting your schedule and making certain things just nonnegotiable and working everything else around these things, because if it’s not for me, if it’s not in my calendar, it really probably doesn’t happen.

I’m one of those people that lives and breathes by my calendar. And so recognizing that that appointment to yourself is just as important as any other appointment that you have or any other to do that you have on your list.

Catherine Wilde

Yeah, I love that. Like you were mentioning before, you would reach for your phone and scroll, social media, those sorts of things, they find ways to have time in our day.

Melissa Salmeron

Right.

Woman Practicing Daily Self Care Habits

Prioritizing Your Daily Self Care Habits

Catherine Wilde

And so when we start with things that it’s so easy to do right. Just pick up the phone. But when we start with our priorities and make sure those are either at the beginning of the day or scheduled into our day, then all the other things that may need to get done or don’t really need to get done, just fit in wherever or just fall off our plate. Right. I love that.

Yeah.

Melissa Salmeron

Oh, I was just loving to share also that I made a commitment to myself. So another habit that I built down was that I was not going to pick up my phone for a certain time period in the evenings. So I’m not perfect at this. But as a general rule and it helps me just to even I said I wasn’t going to pick up my phone from 6 to 8 p.m.

And so even if I do forget or I need to check a message or whatever or something. It’s an immediate habit now that is okay. Yes. I checked it very quickly. But I put it back down because I’m committed to this habit of being there with my kids. And then it’s just like it’s not figuratively or literally on the table.

Catherine Wilde

Yes, I love it.

Melissa Salmeron

So it’s not a temptation, right?

Catherine Wilde

Yeah.

Catherine Wilde

Out of sight helps a lot. And I love that you created that space to be present with your kids. I think our kids can feel that when they feel loved and connected, they know when we’re distracted and we’re not really with them. And when they have that one-on-one with us, that connection, they feel filled up too.

Right.

Catherine Wilde

And so they may in my experience, they’re more willing to go do the bath thing and get their teeth brushed, do all the things more quickly because they’re feeling safe, they’re feeling connected, and they want to be a part of what’s happening there’s less pushback.

Melissa Salmeron

Yeah, I saw an immediate impact on just their tantrums and their cooperation because my kids are always pretty even-keeled.

But I definitely as seeing some acting out and some things that were going on. And it was a measurable difference when I started putting some of these things in place. Kids are always going to be kids, so it’s not like they’re perfect angels all the time, but they definitely, I think, picked up on the fact that, yes, I’m there and I’m available to them.

Catherine Wilde

That’s awesome.

How to Create Daily Self Care Habits

Catherine Wilde

Okay, so if there is a mom listening right now and she doesn’t know where to start, but she’s ready to create some self care habits, where can she start? What’s one loving the could do today?

Melissa Salmeron

Yeah. I would say I’m just such an advocate of starting simple. Starting small. And adding on incrementally to that. I think determining really what helps you can reconnect with yourself. And I know you do too. But whether it’s meditation. Whether it’s exercise. Whether it’s walks in nature. I mean. Experiment.

I’d say just be curious and experiment in the beginning and just maybe set the alarm for five minutes earlier and spend five minutes of quiet time even. It doesn’t have to be this big hour long self care experience on a daily basis or the long, luxurious bubble bath every night. It can be. It totally can be. But it doesn’t have to it doesn’t have to be that way.

Catherine Wilde

Absolutely.

I love it. It’s all about reconnecting with you. It’s simple things that fill you up. And yes, if you have the time for more, do more, love that. Okay, so you have been on this beautiful journey. If you could go back in time to when you were feeling that loss of identity, what advice would you give to yourself?

What would you say to her?

Overcoming Perfectionism

Melissa Salmeron

I think I would say going back to what we talked about, about perfectionism, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You’re doing a good job, you’re doing the best you can with the tools that you have. Yeah, I think that’s what I’d say.

Catherine Wilde

Yeah.

I think so many moms need to hear that daily you’re doing right.

Melissa Salmeron

And when you know better, you know, as Maya Angelou says “when you know better you do better.” And so that doesn’t mean we stop seeking to do better, of course. And of course, as most moms, I think we all want that. We all want to be better moms for our kids, but we are where we are for a reason, I believe, and we just take it a day at a time.

Catherine Wilde

Yes.

Oh, I love this conversation so much.

Can you let us know where we can find you online?

Melissa Salmeron

Yeah, I love connecting with other moms. I have a group on Facebook that I’m happy to share my link to. It’s called from the Overwhelm to the Connected Mom on Facebook.

And that’s just a safe community where I hope that people can come in. I mean, motherhood can feel so isolating sometimes, and so it’s my hope that I could create a safe space where moms could talk about some of the unique challenges that we face on a daily basis and not feel judged or shamed or anything like that.

Catherine Wilde

Yes, I love that.

Catherine Wilde

That sounds like a beautiful space. I will link to that in the show notes. And are there any other last pieces of wisdom you’d like to leave us with?

Melissa Salmeron

I would say one of the most important things I’ve learned along the way is just focusing on how I can love myself more. And if that’s our focus, then it’s just natural that we’re able to love other people more, and it just creates this whole ripple effect.

And I think so many of us, weren’t taught how to love ourselves. I think that’s that if you did nothing else and you just focused on that, it would be just hugely transformative for you.

Catherine Wilde

Oh, yes, absolutely. Yes.

Catherine Wilde

It’s hard to wrap your head around that, but the idea that you can’t really love another person, including your kids, like, fully unconditionally until you can show yourself that love yeah, that’s definitely a transformative thing. And this was perfect.

Catherine Wilde

Thank you.

So much for sharing your story, and all of your tips and wisdom with us today.

Catherine Wilde

I appreciate you.

Melissa Salmeron

Thank you for having me.

Thanks for joining me, Mama.

I’m over here smiling from ear to ear and giving you a big virtual hug. I love spending this time with you. You are amazing for showing up and carving out this space to nourish your soul.

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Sending you so much love, Mama!

Catherine Wilde - Founder of Soul Care Mom - Self Care For Busy Moms - A Mom Coach, Helping Busy Moms, Like You, Release Mom Guilt & Go From Anxious Mom To Calm Mom

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Catherine Wilde - Soul Care Mom

I’m Catherine Wilde homeschool mama, yoga & meditation teacher, best selling author, and mom life coach. I believe you can feel calm and find your unshakable confidence as a mom, when you first care for yourself. 

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