[Ready to break free from mom guilt? Learn practical strategies to reclaim your identity beyond motherhood with these proven expert strategies and tips.]
As mothers, we’ve all felt it – that nagging sensation of guilt when we take time for ourselves, pursue our passions, or simply can’t be everywhere at once. Recently, I had the pleasure of sitting down with JoAnn Crohn, founder of No Guilt Mom and creator of the Happy Mom Summit, to dive deep into the topic of mom guilt and how we can break free from its grip.
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[Disclaimer: The information shared is from personal experiences and/or research. We’re not medical professionals. We share in hopes that it will help you tap into new insights and inspire you. Everything shared is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for medical advice. Always seek the guidance of a trusted health professional for your unique journey.]
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The Origins of Mom Guilt
JoAnn’s journey with mom guilt began before she even became a mother. Growing up, she watched her mother make the family her sole priority, often at the expense of her own needs and desires. “My mom didn’t do much stuff for herself,” JoAnn shared. “She’d be exhausted, and she didn’t go out very much with friends.“
This model of motherhood initially made JoAnn resistant to having children. It wasn’t until she saw a different approach – one where children were integrated into life rather than becoming the entire focus – that she could envision motherhood for herself.
Understanding Mom Guilt
According to JoAnn, mom guilt is a core emotion that governs our behavior in two primary ways:
- Through compliance with social norms (what we think other moms are doing)
- Through self-imposed standards (what we believe makes us “good moms”)
One of the biggest mistakes mothers make is seeing guilt as a reflection of their abilities or worth as a parent. “We are one person. We can’t do everything,” JoAnn emphasizes. “And not everything is going to work for us in the parenting realm. It’s just not our personality. And that’s okay.”
The GUILT Framework for Breaking Free
JoAnn shared her powerful GUILT framework for overcoming mom guilt:
G – Goals (and your need for them)
Set personal goals that define you outside of motherhood. Research shows that people who set personal goals are 8% happier and spend more time on meaningful activities rather than passive scrolling.
U – Understand your self-talk
Be aware of what you’re telling yourself when challenges arise. Understanding your internal dialogue is the first step to changing it.
I – Impact
Remember that your actions affect your children. When they see you prioritize yourself and stand up for your needs, they learn to do the same.
L – Love (lots of it for yourself)
Practice self-compassion using Dr. Kristin Neff’s approach: acknowledge your pain, recognize the common humanity in your struggles, and offer yourself comfort.
T – Tiny steps
Avoid the trap of all-or-nothing thinking. Focus on small, manageable steps toward your goals rather than trying to change everything at once.
Breaking the Martyr Mindset
One of the most powerful moments in our conversation came when JoAnn addressed the cultural expectation that mothers should put themselves last. “No one else is trained to do that,” she pointed out. “Dads aren’t trained to do that. They don’t put themselves last ever. And moms should not have to do it either.”
Moving Forward
The journey to overcoming mom guilt isn’t about becoming a “perfect” mother – we all know that’s not possible. Instead, it’s about finding gentle ways to honor both our role as mothers and our identities as individuals with dreams, desires, and needs of our own.
As JoAnn beautifully put it, if she could go back and give advice to her younger self as a new mom, she would say: “You have everything you need to figure this out. Don’t forget you. And make sure to tell people what you need as well. You’re not meant to be a martyr.”
Want to learn more about overcoming mom guilt and creating a more joyful motherhood journey?
Join JoAnn and over 50 other speakers (including myself!) at the Happy Mom Summit. This free online event is designed to help moms shift their mindset, overcome guilt, and find more joy in their parenting journey.
Connect with JoAnn Crohn:
🎉 Don’t miss JoAnn at the upcoming Happy Mom Summit! Get Your FREE Ticket (affiliate link)
Website: No Guilt Mom
📚 Books mentioned (affiliate links):
“Self-Compassion” by Dr. Kristin Neff
“The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins
Thank you for joining me for this heart-centered conversation.
If you’re ready to start your own journey to more peaceful, present parenting, I invite you to download my free gift: Kickstart Your Calm Morning – a simple but powerful 5-minute morning ritual to help you start every day feeling calm and energized.
Sending You So Much Love!
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I’m Catherine Wilde homeschool mama, yoga & meditation teacher, best selling author, and intuitive life coach. I believe you can feel calm and find your unshakable confidence as a mom, when you first care for yourself.
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