Conscious Parenting And Nurturing Resilience In Teens

[Explore the principles of conscious parenting and discover effective strategies to nurture resilience in teenagers. Dive deep into understanding your teen’s emotional world, fostering mutual respect, and empowering them to face life’s challenges with confidence.]

Today we’re stepping into the realm of conscious parenting. We dive deep into understanding around being a conscious parent. Which is not just about being present, but evolving alongside our children, and navigating our personal growth.

My guest today is Maureen Speilman, and we dive into navigating conscious parenting, nurturing resilience in teens, and so much more!

You can also listen to this conversation on iTunes, Spotify, or your preferred podcast platform.

[Disclaimer: The information shared is from personal experiences and/or research. We’re not medical professionals. We share in hopes that it will help you tap into new insights and inspire you. Everything shared is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for medical advice. Always seek the guidance of a trusted health professional for your unique journey.]

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Hi there, soulful mama. Welcome to the the Soul Care Mom Podcast. I’m Catherine Wilde of SoulCareMom.com. I’m a mom of three amazing kids. A Soul Care mom coach, yoga and meditation teacher I’ve helped hundreds of women, and I’m here to help you feel calm and find your unshakable confidence as a mom.

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The Ultimate Guide To Conscious Parenting

Catherine Wilde

Today we’re stepping into the realm of conscious parenting. We’re going to dive deep into understanding being a conscious parent, which isn’t just about being present, but about evolving alongside our children and navigating our own personal growth journey. Today, my guest is a soul sister of mine, Maureen Spielman. She is the creator of the Mystical Sisterhood podcast, and we dive into all things motherhood, navigating, conscious parenting, nurturing resilience in teens, and so much more. Settle in and enjoy this soulful conversation.

Catherine Wilde

Hi, Maureen. I’m so happy you’re here.

Maureen Spielman

Hi, Catherine. I’m super excited to be here with you. It’s a good coming back.

Catherine Wilde

Yes, yes. We’ve been on this soulful journey and I am excited to just chat with you about motherhood and conscious parenting and nurturing resilience in our teens and so much more. But we’ve been on this I feel like we’re soul sisters. We’ve been doing this deep inner work alongside each other for a while now, and I’m just so excited to get this chance to have this conversation and dive deep with you today.

Maureen Spielman

I think it’s a great space to amplify a little bit of what we’ve both kind of learned, studied and probably both practice, both in our personal lives and in our professional lives. But yeah, I am here and ready to talk about whatever would be best for the audience to kind of lean into today.

Catherine Wilde

I love that. Thank you for being so open and sharing, and I’d love to hear a little bit about your journey and how you came to do the work that you do.

Conscious Parenting With Dr. Shefali

Maureen Spielman

Yeah, thank you. That’s such a good question, and it brings me back. At first my mind went back to five years ago, but then my mind went back to when I first had kids. And so my kids are 22, 20 and 18. And when I didn’t really have a plan for oh, I want to have this many kids, or one thing I think I knew before I had kids as that I wanted my house to be a place where kids came over to because I knew that it was something that was missing in my childhood.

And we kind of had a house. I had a big family, and I think my parents were often overwhelmed. And so being a space where kids came and sort of had fun and just were the house you went to wasn’t something I experienced.

So that’s a funny little thing that I knew that I wanted, but other than that, I wasn’t really you know I had gone through conscious parenting training with Dr. Shafali, but she talks about often when we go into parenting. And I realized that there’s some people out there that are super intentional, right.

Maureen Spielman

And I think probably more than ever, people are becoming intentional before they begin. I’m not sure, but I don’t think I as one of them. But when I began to start my family with my partner, one other thing that came to mind that I knew that I wanted to sort of transform or do something different in my own life was to step away from the disciplinary model and the model of children should be seen and not heard and do something differently within my house.

But I had the love and the spaciousness in my heart, and so I think I created a lot of it within my home. But I think I mentioned when we talked last week that I didn’t know anything about boundaries. I didn’t know anything about really teaching my children.

And that might sound kind of crazy, and I don’t know if you’ve heard that from anyone before, but just like, I think, again, I was at the tail end of a big family, and my parents teaching me wasn’t modeled for me. And so I had these really great plans, and I think there’s so many things that I did well bringing the kids up.

Maureen Spielman

There were just like these missing skills and so just shifting. I raised I have a boy, girl, boy and was raising them all these years. And in 2018, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and my field was speech language pathology. But I had stayed home for many, many years and kind of was in that space.

And I’m sure that this topic has come up for a lot of your listeners the space of I had stayed home with my kids and I really was hard on myself for it. And in many of those years I was like, what am I going to do? I don’t know. It was just like a running ticker tape of it’s hard to put into words but being hard on myself. So I got to this point where fast forward all these years I get this diagnosis and at the same time I as looking into coaching and I first looked into Health and Wellness coaching.

And so anyway, going through what I went through with my diagnosis changed my life and made me realize that I really wanted to, I think, forge this path into coaching. And that that was a non negotiable, like creating something because I had committed to the kids at home and I think there was a part of me that yearned to do something if and when that time I was ready for it.

Being A Conscious Parent

Maureen Spielman

And so during my path of coaching, I would try different things and I did Health and Wellness. At first I did some coaching around Radical remission, which was around cancer work. And then I thought, oh, I don’t know, this isn’t exactly it. So I kept on following the threads, and I ended up in Dr. Shafali’s Conscious Parenting Institute.

And then Susie Lula’s Soul Care Coaching, where you and I merged. So it’s been a path of just like a thread for me was always parenting. You can see from the beginning, it’s like sometimes I say I think my conscious parenting started early, but I didn’t have all the tools and the skills and the techniques and even how you build your work around soul care. Self care, deep self connection first, before anything else. I didn’t know how to do that.

Catherine Wilde

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The Conscious Parent – Transforming Ourselves

Maureen Spielman

So I think all the resources that are out there today and discussions that are being had are so beneficial for moms to lean into.

Catherine Wilde

Thank you for sharing your journey. Yeah, no, but it’s such a beautiful journey and you’re so right. I think a lot of moms, we crave that, being with our kids and spending that time with them and going through that season and then we also have that guilt and shame around like, oh, I didn’t do more. And we don’t value that precious, amazing time we devalue ourselves in that journey, I think. Thank you for sharing that so honestly.

Maureen Spielman

Yeah, and I think it’s true and I think it’s like we now know that based on our family of origin that influences the kind of capacities. I think it informs how patient we are, how well we communicate based on what we saw. I used to think communication kind of felt threatening because it felt like if you were actually going to somebody and speaking the truth that it would create conflict. Because I think that that as my experience as a kid. So then I had it wrong in my head.

It’s like no communication can actually be very healthy and feel very healthy. So we bring in those things. And I think that people are sort of waking up earlier in the game and plus there’s just so much if you’re on social media that is just all this beautiful teaching now that people can begin to contemplate and see as possibilities to bring into their homes with their families and change generational patterns and just the things that we carry with us.

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Raising Resilient Teens With Conscious Parenting

Catherine Wilde

Yeah, you’re so right. There’s a lot of beautiful messages now that you can see one and it can start like this, turn this light bulb on for you of, oh, this is what I’ve seen. But there’s other possibilities. Like communication can look different and that’s so important too when it comes to raising teens. Right? What did that look like for you guys?

So my oldest is eleven and I feel like we have a really beautiful relationship. All three of mine are girls, but yeah, I know that it’s going to be a different season, there’s going to be changes within her and our relationship will transition too. How did that work for you guys?

Maureen Spielman

Well, I think the teenage years in my house, they were far from perfect. But because I truly do believe that when we adopt overarching principles of creating a household where voices are honored, that right there where you can speak your mind, you can have that temper tantrum, you can let it out and have that be a really accepting place for our children. It does create a certain it’s a difference. It’s different than the way I grew up.

So I feel like my kids in a way knew that there were allowance of who they were on an emotional level and that’s still being said. The interesting thing because when I went through the conscious parenting, it was just three years ago when I learned from Dr. Shafali and really began on this path.

But I really feel know if families, especially these days when the information is coming to you earlier and earlier in your parenting, if and when we commit to working on our own just painful places and hurts and the things that we might be bringing in. And we are able to hear our children’s concerns, their voices, whatever it is that when we get to the teenage years, it creates a different experience.

Maureen Spielman

And it doesn’t mean that it’s not going to be without the slamming doors or the coming home late nights or trying substances or whatever it is. But I thought before my eyes that even though I still needed to develop skills with boundary setting or having the conversations that it was a different experience. I had an experience just in the past couple of years where someone came home and they had ingested substances and I had to make sure that they were safe and it didn’t really come to my attention until the next morning.

So right away I made sure that they were safe and that everything was fine health wise. But then I thought to myself like, well how am I going to deal with this? How am I going to go at it? And that whole weekend because I believe it was a Friday night that I needed to make sure that they were okay. But instead of going like a disciplinary route or the route of you’re grounded, or go into your room or take something away, I used the whole weekend to really talk about kind of like, how did that feel like to you?

Maureen Spielman

And what does it mean for your life when we make these choices? Or what could have happened, or this is a safe space to say what you want to say, or you felt like you had to hide that from me? But throughout the weekend, I really did touch points of like, okay, let’s revisit the conversation and take away that you disappointed me or you did something wrong.

Because, no, I’ve never condoned going out and drinking and smoking, but I really believe, like, I could see that then the response, it was kind of free of shaming or making my child feel bad for the choice that they made, which they already felt remorseful for. So it’s an interesting approach and I wasn’t even sure in the moment because that’s a little bit of taking a principle like conscious parenting into the teenage years. And I mean none of us know, we don’t know the answers. We’re all doing the best we can. I just interviewed someone because I have a podcast too. But at the end I said, what is one thing that you’d want the parents to know? And I’ll repeat it here because I think it’s really important.

Maureen Spielman

And she said that every parent knew that when they finished their days that they were a hero and that they gave all they could and they showed up in their fullness and even if it was really messy and even if it was just these days the showing up is huge. I think because of my commitment to the overarching principles of accepting your child, where they’re at, giving them guidance, where it’s being called for, coming with more compassion and softness.

It’s these ways that seem very abstract but I believe pay off in dividends and we can’t always see because that doesn’t mean we’re not going to go through periods of time that are messier or they feel more dense. But to know that it’s almost like if you have these guideposts and you have these ways that you’re committed to being as a parent, it creates a beautiful backdrop, I feel like, for your child to grow in. Do you resonate with that?

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Nurturing Resilience In Teens

Catherine Wilde

Oh yeah. I love it because it’s so true that nobody knows what life has in store for us and how we’re going to navigate it and the growth that’s going to happen.

And I love that you create this space that as our children make choices in life, that they still feel like, oh, we can still have a conversation about this. In the relationships outside of parenting. If you have a friend that just is always bitter about stuff or isn’t listening very well, that’s not the person you’re going to go to to share. So just the same with our kids, right, when we create that, oh, I want to hear what you have to say.

Maureen Spielman

Share with someone who’s safe. And the one thing that I not one thing, but one thing that I know is that with kids I feel like this is my experience anyway. They’re not always going to come to us. There’s the seasons of it’s, the time for the friends and then it’s almost like it reminds me of when a kid is really little and they’re learning separation from I feel like the studies have been done on mothers and they’ll show the child go a little bit away from the mom.

Maybe there’s another individual in the room and then they go back to their mom for safety and then the next time they go out a little further and it’s like this dance, right? And when they’re really young, like toddler, they keep on coming back because they have to know that they’re safe. But I kind of feel like it’s the same. Like a lot of people say that, like the teenage hood, teenage dumb mirrors toddler years.

I think that’s true, but I think that knowing that we’re there for them when they venture out into the world. That’s like a really important, I think, component of just being there for our kids, because I see the going out, like, for one of my children who’s more social, the going out, and sometimes it’ll be like, oh, we’re best friends, and other times it’s like, oh, I could care less about you.

Maureen Spielman

But I know for a parent, I’m not going to take that personally because it’s about their growth and development, and I’m growing and developing at the same time.

Catherine Wilde

And that’s happening right alongside, right. Their moment of, like, we need to be there for them. We’re still, like, we’re dealing with our own issues coming up and also things. Yeah. And I love that you said that it mirrors toddlerhood. That’s such a cool thing, perspective to look at it as.

And we really do want our kids to be able to go out into the world, right. And then also have a safe space that’s that resiliency, like creating that person that can go and thrive in the world and still has this safe harbor. Yeah, I love that.

Maureen Spielman

And I think I was thinking about too, just as you’re speaking, how many and anyone listening knows this from early till teenage years, is just how many demands our children have. And some people refer to it as like, even when a kid comes home from school at the end of the day, that they have this backpack, but they also have this emotional backpack and all the things that happen during their day, but the stresses are higher than ever.

I remember when I stayed home with the kids, I did a lot of volunteerism, and it was greatly around social, emotional learning and programming in the schools. But there was a movie back in about 2010, and it was called Race to Nowhere.

And Race to Nowhere was created out in the San Francisco area by a woman named Vicki Abeles. And she did this film about the pressures that kids have. And my sister lived out in the area, and she said, hey, Maureen, you might be interested in this film. And I saw the trailer, and even though my kids were younger ten years ago, they were 1210 and eight, it resonated with me because I think any parent listening today, too, we hear these things, right?

Maureen Spielman

They come across books or something someone recommends or a flyer for an activity at the community center. And if it’s yours, it speaks to you like it just resonates. And when I heard the trailer for Race to Nowhere, it was a no brainer. And we brought it to my community and did a free screening on a Saturday morning to 300 people, and it just became this big thing. But that was 2010. And so you’re thinking, like, I always remember that iPhones came out in 2007.

So we were just at the advent, right, of kind of phones and everything. And that was a society with so many pressures that was almost like are phone and we were feeling it. So I just think that our kids pressures are exponential. And that need, I think that almost like where we’re going as a society or a culture. And these, I feel like, demands or outside at least, things seeking our kids attention grow and grow and grow, whether it’s academics or technology or the stakes are higher. But that maybe in a way in our homes that’s almost like a cultural call to fortify the home even more.

Maureen Spielman

Now I’m just thinking that now that more than ever. And I think that’s why call it what you want, conscious parenting, peaceful parent, respectful parenting. I think it’s why it’s on the rise because there’s a big need for it. And I think probably like as moms that you work with and speak to, they’re feeling it.

Catherine Wilde

Yeah, I think you’re right. There’s probably this really big correlation between having to wake up earlier because there is so much more to wake up too. There’s just a lot. So we’ve been talking about conscious parenting. I’d love if there’s somebody hearing that term for the first time. Can you share? What is conscious parenting? How can we be a conscious parent? What does that mean?

Maureen Spielman

Yeah, I think it has some universal principles and it’ll have some of my filter too. But when I think of conscious parenting, I think that it could be this is just going to be really generalized, but someone with an intention to both look inside themselves to what they’re bringing to the parenting journey. That’s your experiences, your belief systems, possibly your patterns in relationships. Taking a look at your emotions and what comes up for you in the parenting relationship. But then with our partners like that our children are our teachers, that they are our messengers, that they’re here to help us grow as much as we’re here to help them grow. That there’s not a parental hierarchy and that I think one of the ones that it just grows all the time for me is that this child that’s come into your home, your family, is their own unique blueprint of a soul who is not going to look like anyone else. Even if they’ve got the same shirt that they bought from the same place or even if they’re in the same family. They’re here to express themselves in their just divinely, unique way. And that, I think an important part, is honoring that child even when they go through the systems that we all know.

Maureen Spielman

And that I think that there’s more kids than ever that aren’t fitting the system that’s in place. Those are just like some of the kind of general conscious parenting things, I think. And I think that it’s a part of soul care coaching, but it’s a part of conscious parenting too, is like we know that anyone that comes to us is you have the answers within you have the wisdom. So as parents, we do have the wisdom, but sometimes we have to cut through what we experienced. A lot of people have gone through trauma and coming to this point of parenting and that they’re I mean, I just know so much beautiful work and outreach and then including what you’re doing that’s there for people to understand, because that’s what I desired when I was a young parent. I just wanted a different experience. And I’m like, well, I can possibly provide this for my kids. But is that in our children too? They have the wisdom and they do need the guidance from us, but there’s nothing to fix or change. And it’s like, how do we best work with the child in front of us?

Catherine Wilde

You explained it so beautifully, and just hearing that, I’m so drawn to that because that’s something that I craved. And my parents did the best that they could with what they had, and they were very loving. And I still felt that being seen and not heard sort of thing. And that draws you in when you hear like, oh, that can be a thing. That’s how I want to feel. And of course, then you want to share that, right? You want your children to feel seen and heard and all the things.

Maureen Spielman

And it’s interesting because the cultural conditioning that all of us had, it starts so early, right? And I’ll say an example of my daughter. She’s 20, but she had just gone through something during the final exam period at college. And so as I step into just more of this, more generosity and sort of like coming with compassion or whatever, she had said she made a mistake and didn’t show. She showed up late for her final exam. And so afterwards, she was really hard on herself, like she was in a spiral of, oh, my gosh, the world is falling apart.

And it was kind of funny because I just came to her and I’m like, you’re fine. It’s all going to work out. And I don’t even know if I uttered the word compassion, and this was over the phone lines when she first told me, but she was like, stop with the compassion. But there’s part of her that’s already been conditioned that I did something wrong. The one thing that I think is important to say just for I kind of said it a little bit, is just that we have to be so forgiving of ourselves for anything.

Maureen Spielman

Like, if I looked back at the beginning of my parenting journey, I’ll tell you I wasn’t conscious yet. In this whole conscious parenting, it’s not like, oh, it’s on a pedestal. It’s just a willingness to move in a certain direction, that’s all, and create an experience that it feels really good internally to you as a parent and hopefully feels good for our kids too. And the thing is, as much as we can to go to those places that want to create shame or that we’ve done something wrong. I don’t believe it to be true. And I also believe and this is from Dr. Shafali with conscious parenting.

She is rooted in Buddhist tradition, and so she’ll always say Eastern philosophy meets Western psychology, but is the idea that everyone is on their own path. So we may see our kids suffer or have the challenges that they do or whatever is their life’s path, but that’s okay. It’s so uniquely yours. If we think of ourselves when we were younger, we walked through fires, right, and we got to the other side. And I just think that I don’t think the point of life is, yes, try to make this the healthiest upbringing as possible, and we can’t control any of the outcomes at all.

I just think it’s just being so easy. And I think I’m sure you talk about compassion so much in your coaching and just messaging, and it’s there for us. And the more we share it, it’s I’m hoping it just reaches more ears and hearts and our kids. It reverberates through our children and just that that becomes more of a cultural norm than being hard on ourselves.

Catherine Wilde

Yes, I love so much I love everything you’re saying. And conscious parenting isn’t this thing like this. It’s not this place we get to. We don’t get enlightened, and then everything is perfect, right. We’re still human in this human body.

And so much compassion, compassion for ourselves, compassion for everyone on our journey, for our children, our spouse, like, all the things. And it’s so much more enjoyable and fun when we soften into that. And we just get to like because I think for the longest time, I pushed I pushed really hard against life. And I don’t know if you follow Eckhart Tolle, but Byron, Katie, you’re not going to win when you push against life.

Right.

It is what it is.

And so where can we lean in? Because there’s so much when we look back at the past and challenges and things often things worked out in this way that we could have never planned. It’s so amazing how things work out. And when we can lean into that in the present moment, things shift so much.

Maureen Spielman

Yeah, well, and it reminds me, too, of women and moms and just back up off the role of the mother. But as women, we carry so much responsibility and over responsibility for others. And it’s true, right? And so even if the outcome I mean, I guess I’ll speak for myself, when things were not looking as easy or feeling as easy as I wanted them to be, that was there for me and that was the path that I was traveling. And yeah, I don’t know. And I can take over responsibility for that or just accept that as is and just work from the present moment as much as I. Can. Yeah, that’s a hard one.

Catherine Wilde

Oh, for sure. Yeah. And I can see that we can’t control things and we take over responsibility. And for me, especially with my youngest, when I hear her get upset, within me, there’s like an emotional response and I’m like, is everything okay? What do I need to do? And really what I need to do is just be there for her and let her have her experience. Right. It’s not always easy.

Maureen Spielman

It’s not always comfortable. Right?

Catherine Wilde

Yeah, for sure.

Maureen Spielman

Sometimes I think that because when I came to the work yeah. I went through all those years that were like, wow, they’re really physical work, emotional work of holding space. And then I know so many young moms who are looking into these different avenues of parenting. Call it what you will, but I think to myself, like, wow, that’s a tall order.

Because I want to say too, because my kids are older, that it’s the long game. And so if things aren’t always going to remedy themselves within a short period of time and I mean, to work through certain things, it can take years, and that’s just a reality of it all. It reminds me, like when we have really young kids and do you remember when they go through things and then you’d about lose your mind, whether it was sleep or like a tantrum or whatever kind of phase they went through.

Catherine Wilde

Learning to use the potty.

Maureen Spielman

It felt like it was forever, and then it would pass. And I remember being a young mom and think like, Maureen, remember, I know that there’s a religious, like, it too shall pass, but that sometimes the passing of a phase will take. And especially if your interest let’s say things are rockier in your home a little more chaotic, a little more conflict oriented. And you say, oh, okay, I’m listening to what these women are saying on this podcast.

Or I’m seeing something on Instagram that makes me curious, that have almost like, belief and trust that if something’s drawing you to a new way of doing something that that’s awesome and begin to try and maybe tweak little things in the house, like whether it’s holding the sacred space, like sitting in silence with your child after school when they’re doing their homework and they don’t really need to have conversation, but you’re just there or just like, trying different things.

If you work all day doing that at night. But that it’s. These little deposits in the bank, right? And that over time you’re going to start to see differences in the quality of the interaction.

Maureen Spielman

And I always think that goes alongside doing our own work. So you were talking about how to tend to your own emotions when there’s an emotional storm on the outside of you. And it is true. I don’t know what you do these days, but I’ll have that inner dialogue. I’ll do the self talk of like, it’s so understandable that this is overwhelm. I’ll walk away and take a pause. I think that pause is genius. It seems like it’s the lowest hanging fruit ever, but it’s like one that we forget in the heat of the moment to walk away and create space.

Catherine Wilde

Yeah. And it’s so beautiful. It’s really beautiful that those simple things that are so powerful because we’re usually looking for this huge thing that this one thing that will just fix everything and really it’s all at our fingertips, those little tools.

Maureen Spielman

And it’s like, okay, what are these three things that I’m going to turn to that are loving to create over time? A different quality of experience in my home.

Catherine Wilde

And I love that you shared that too, because it’s those little things and we often don’t realize how far we’ve come. So taking that time to stop and look back and say, oh, yeah, I used to do that and I don’t do that as often anymore. Maybe it’s yell or whatever it is and celebrating ourselves. I love that you shared that. At the end of the day, every parent is a hero. I think that’s just a beautiful thing to hold on. Remember, the work you’re doing is powerful and it’s never going to be perfect.

Maureen Spielman

Yeah, I know. And I think about how we can also, as moms, shame ourselves for the ways that we fell apart. And I think that those are perfect places to go when we’re feeling like I don’t know if this ever happens to you, but when I reflect on early childhood, I can think of one time that I’ll name and I was in my neighborhood and I can’t remember who it was. I had a minivan and I was driving and I had just reached the end of my rope and I was in my car.

I just think I was yelling at the top of my lungs and for the longest time I just carried that with me. And I was probably really sad about it that I had showed up at that way. But I think at some point and maybe it was in the advent of doing all this kind of work and this is why this work is so valuable that I waited all these years because I didn’t have a tool or I couldn’t admit that that was me. Because I know as moms too, I would think that everybody’s had experiences here and there where it was like an out of body experience.

Maureen Spielman

But to go to those experiences and really be like, it’s so understandable that’s the beauty of your work is like, let’s get in there and find ways to take care of that. Stressed out, but being able to even say that out loud and like, oh, that was me and that was my experience. It was just like, well, of course it’s so understandable. You were probably so tired. You were at the end of your rope. You were probably tending to like 50 things that day and gosh, I have so much compassion for that young woman who showed up in that way.

Catherine Wilde

Oh, I love that so much. Yeah. Where can we go back and say like, oh my gosh, yeah. Just as you would a friend, right? If a friend came to you and was like, I had the worst day, would you judge her and shame her?

Maureen Spielman

Yeah, it’s funny. We come to ourselves in those ways that we wouldn’t come to anyone else around us. But I think just learning ways that, okay, we can greet ourselves with that compassion, tap into people, like the resources that are going to give us those messages so we don’t have to keep it all in either.

Catherine Wilde

And you touched on this, but I love that you brought up taking care of yourself and that self care piece. I’d love to know what’s your favorite way to practice self love? Self care. Soul care.

Maureen Spielman

Yeah. I think at this point it’s a grounding and sort of creating ritual time every day. And I always say I’m not a person who does the same exact thing every day. But if I can have a touch point of starting my day with sitting with a journal, and I’m not a big journaler per se, but just sitting, even if it’s sitting, creating time around, like, what do I most need to know for today? Lighting a candle? I’m a big fan. I don’t know if spiritual is the right word. I feel like I am, but I love things like oracle cards or just what I like is and resonates with me that can feel very grounding to me is to pick up something really inspiring to me. And so for some people, that could be like doing art and I’m not so good even as I sort of do my work life now, my parenting like life balance. I’ve been a big exerciser in the past, and then some days I’m like, oh, that’s not meant to happen anymore because now I’ll forego movement for that quiet time. So for me, it’s like quiet grounding.

Maureen Spielman

I wouldn’t even say I know some people will name gratitude. Gratitude to me is almost like an internal state that I know it if I’m in it. And then I’m like, oh, that’ll allow me to really tap into it. But there is so much goodness out there. And I love the messages that remind me of my light, my truth, my essence, my goodness, you know what I mean? To bring me back to that light, in that center. And if I can experience that first thing in the morning, it’s really nice, but it’s like a beacon for me. If I hear anything, I’m just like, I’m right there. And it gets me into that place that allows me to come from, I think, my core or my center, my essence. Yeah. So that’s what I love. And I do think it’s leaning into your intuition around that. And that’s why I think I’m not a person that does the same thing every day because I’d like to tap into what is being called for today. But the one thing that I do like to do is just that really taking the time and the space. But I also like the concept of just dipping in throughout your day and maybe checking in with yourself and how am I feeling about this.

Maureen Spielman

Practicing boundaries, that’s a big self care for me and one that I know I named earlier, like in relation to the kids, but just with my outside relationships because I’m a person that traditionally was a huge over giver of my time. I don’t know if anyone that’s listening can relate. Sometimes when you choose to stay at home, you can be hyper available, even if it’s just like your social scene. But for me, boundaries are a big area of work. Revisiting those phrases of compassion and understanding and making sure I make space for that in my day.

Catherine Wilde

Yeah, I love that. And I love that you make space for just like you said with your journal, just having it open. And I think sometimes what we talked about earlier was the answers are within us and when we slow down enough to let them out, let ourselves hear them, that’s a really beautiful thing. And I love that you follow your intuition. Sometimes it can be like, oh, this is my morning routine. These are the things that I do. But it can be so beautiful stepping into our feminine that way, right? Like allowing ourselves to listen to what it is that we need and nourish ourselves in the way that we need it. That day is such a beautiful gift to give yourself. Thank you for sharing those.

Maureen Spielman

Yeah, I love what you just said about the feminine, though, because when we’re moving from that culture, even if you need to do for your children and drive them and do this and that, I think in my life I probably took on more masculine attendance and I felt like I was in the feminine. But I think moving to that other edge of softening and letting go a little bit and just like I said, like the intuition and whether it’s you want to dance or play or create something and giving ourselves the permission to do that.

Catherine Wilde

It takes courage. It takes courage to do this work. It takes courage to have those boundaries around your time so that you have that space. It takes courage to say, yeah, I want to put on this music and move my body in whatever way feels good.

Maureen Spielman

I agree. Yeah, I couldn’t agree more. I think the work is really courageous and you’re transforming patterns that you’ve probably carried for many years that’s brave and I mean, I have people sometimes say to me, like, oh, I kind of see what you’re doing over there or talking about Maureen and let’s just keep it over there. Or they’ll say, like, I don’t understand, or, why would you need that? But it’s not now for them, maybe not ever. But yeah, just lean into whatever speaks to you.

Catherine Wilde

And you never know, it could be tomorrow that they’re like, oh, I remember this thing that Maureen said, and I want to try that. Those glimpses we get. Yeah.

Maureen Spielman

One of my older sisters, she recently went back to Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages, and those are the ones where I think you write I’ve never done her program, but I think it just had its 25th anniversary. But she said she’s older than me, and she’s like, oh, I first saw this when I was 20, and it was kind of funny because I was thinking about it and I’m thinking, you remember when you saw it when you were 20 because something spoke to you then?

And it’s kind of funny, right? Because now it came back into her orbit and it’s a practice that will get her more in touch with herself because our self is the one that we typically neglect. And I think that that’s an interesting paradox, because sometimes it seems like we’re taking care of ourselves, but we may need even more nurturing. We give so much.

Catherine Wilde

Yes, I love this conversation, and you shared a little bit, like going back and telling yourself, giving compassion to your past self, but I always just love to hear because everyone that’s been on here has just been on these incredible journeys with so many teachings and so much growth. And if you could go back in time and share anything with your younger self, what wisdom would you share with her? What would you want her to know?

Maureen Spielman

I would probably want her to know that when you say that, can it be any age that comes to mind?

Catherine Wilde

Yeah

Maureen Spielman

What came to me was my teenage years, and I think that probably more like the latter half of my teenage years, but I was a teen who acted out a lot and hid it. And so I think that my parents were probably there more for me than I knew. Right.

But I had this experience, and then I projected that I couldn’t share anything. So I think that I would probably tell her, you’re safer than you realize, and to even give her that permission to try to have the conversation, maybe with my mom, who seemed so unavailable for me, but I know so deeply cared for me. And I know that some of our kids may feel that their moms don’t get it, but you would rather them come to you and try to have the conversation than not. So that’s what first came to mind.

Maureen Spielman

I love that. Yes. I think it’s so beautiful that we came back around to the teenage years. There’s so much change happening within us right at that time and we can feel so alone.

Maureen Spielman

Yeah, it’s a great question.

Catherine Wilde

Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing with such an open heart. And will you let us know where we can find you and connect with you online?

Maureen Spielman

Yeah. Thanks, Catherine. I am at maureenspeilman.com and on Instagram, that’s where I mainly show up. It’s @MaureenSpielman. And also my podcast is called Mystical Sisterhood and I started that after I’d gone through actually just started it in January of this year, but the name came from, I always say, like intuitive hit about the name mystical.

It first came to me as sisters and then that domain name was taken. So it’s the mystical sisterhood podcast. And on the podcast I celebrate just spaces of joy and healing and interview intuitive healers and other courageous women. So that’s been a passion project of mine and super fun, but you can find that it’s Maureen Spielman.com and Mysticalsisterhood.com. So thanks for asking that question.

Catherine Wilde

Yeah, I’ll put those in the show notes. Everybody can connect with you. And yeah, the podcast is so beautiful. Definitely check it out. Thank you. Yeah, thank you for being here.

Maureen Spielman

Yeah, you’re so welcome. Yeah, I love it. Thank you, Catherine.

Thanks for joining me, mama. I’m over here smiling from ear to ear and giving you a big virtual hug. I love spending this time with you. You are amazing for showing up and carving out this space to nourish your soul. If you are loving the the Soul Care Mom podcast, sure to subscribe and leave a review.

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Sending you so much love, Mama.

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