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How To Feel Like Yourself Again In Motherhood: Finding Your Identity as a Stay-at-Home Mom

[Feeling like a stay-at-home mom who’s lost her identity? Discover practical tips and insights on finding your own identity after motherhood in this empowering conversation.]

Are you a stay-at-home mom feeling like you’ve lost your identity? You’re not alone. In this insightful conversation, Arieal Delotte-Jones, affectionately known as “Mom of Taj,” shares her journey of rediscovering herself after motherhood.

Dive into the steps that will help you reclaim your sense of self as a mom!

You can also listen on iTunes, Spotify, or your preferred podcast platform.

[Disclaimer: The information shared is from personal experiences and/or research. We’re not medical professionals. We share in hopes that it will help you tap into new insights and inspire you. Everything shared is for informational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for medical advice. Always seek the guidance of a trusted health professional for your unique journey.]

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The Challenge: Losing Your Identity as a Stay-at-Home Mom

Motherhood is a beautiful, life-changing experience, but it often comes with a surprising downside—losing your identity. Many stay-at-home moms find themselves so deeply involved in caring for their children and managing the household that they forget who they are outside of these roles.

As Arieal Delotte-Jones puts it, “I just got lost in really taking care of my kids, trying to stay on top of things that I lost myself. I really didn’t have an identity; I was just these kids’ mom.”

The First Step: Shifting Focus from Others to Yourself

One of the key pieces of advice Arieal shares is the importance of shifting focus from what everyone else is doing to what you truly want for yourself and your family. “Stop looking at everybody else’s life and focus on you, your goals, and what your desire is for your kids and your family,” she advises.

It’s easy to get caught up in comparison, especially with the curated lives we see on social media, but this can lead to feelings of inadequacy and guilt.

Creating a Vision for Yourself and Your Family

A pivotal moment in Arieal’s journey was realizing the need to have a vision—not just for her kids, but for herself. “If you don’t have a vision… I have a vision for my kids, but I also have a vision for myself. And in doing that, I know that my kids are going to reap the benefits.”

Creating a vision for your life helps you stay focused on what truly matters and prevents you from getting lost in the day-to-day grind.

The Role of Self-Care in Rediscovering Your Identity

Self care is often misunderstood as indulgence, but as Arieal emphasizes, it’s about much more than that. It’s about reconnecting with yourself, understanding what brings you joy, and taking steps to nurture your inner well-being.

“When we say self-care, we’re really talking about that deep-down connection with yourself that’s going to give you internal happiness, peace, and joy.”

Overcoming Mom Guilt

Mom guilt is something most mothers experience, especially when trying to carve out time for themselves. Arieal’s advice?

“The best way to navigate mom guilt really is to do the best that you can.”

She stresses that it’s important to remember that no one is perfect, and as long as your kids’ basic needs are met, you should feel empowered to take time for yourself without guilt.

Practical Tips to Start Reclaiming Your Identity

Create a Realistic Schedule: Start by assessing your day-to-day life and see where you can carve out time for yourself. Once you understand your routine, you can begin to incorporate self care practices that feed your soul.

Spend Time Alone: This can be challenging, but spending time alone is crucial for reconnecting with yourself. “When you start to spend that time alone, then you can hear your inner self, your inner thoughts, and then it’ll start to fuel you and guide you.”

Focus on What Makes You Happy: Identify the activities or practices that bring you joy and make them a regular part of your life. This might take some trial and error, but it’s essential to keep searching until you find what truly fulfills you.

Surround Yourself with Positive Influences: Be mindful of the messages you consume and the people you surround yourself with. “Finding those people who look like you and who have these lives like you… so that you can know that there’s people who live like you who have the same issues as you.”

The Importance of Embracing Imperfection

Arieal also touches on the importance of embracing imperfection, both in yourself and in your life.

“You have to model that for your kid. And if your everyday life reflects the opposite of it, what do you think they’re going to pick up on first?”

By showing your children that it’s okay to be imperfect, you help them develop a healthy mindset and resilience.

It’s Never Too Late to Reconnect with Yourself

Rediscovering your identity after becoming a stay-at-home mom is not just possible—it’s essential. As Arieal reminds us, “Your life is not going to start until you give yourself permission to enjoy it.”

So take that first step today, whether it’s creating a vision for yourself, practicing self-care, or simply spending a few quiet moments alone.

Remember, by taking care of yourself, you’re not only improving your own life but also modeling a healthy, balanced approach to life for your children.

Connect with Arieal Delotte-Jones

Website: TajThings.com

Instagram: @tajthings

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Catherine Wilde - Founder of Soul Care Mom - Self Care For Busy Moms - A Mom Coach, Helping Busy Moms, Like You, Release Mom Guilt & Go From Anxious Mom To Calm Mom

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Hi Im Catherine - Soul Care Mom
Catherine Wilde - Soul Care Mom

I’m Catherine Wilde homeschool mama, yoga & meditation teacher, best selling author, and mom life coach. I believe you can feel calm and find your unshakable confidence as a mom, when you first care for yourself. 

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